( diadem ) inbox

[heavymetals]

Inbox

327 – 1989

Voice — Text

"You've reached Erik Lehnsherr. Leave a message after the tone."

Code Source

Contacts

Charles

Kimiko

John

Laura

Rowena

Scott

Wanda

Comments

Just so he knows ICly!

[thetruefocus]

[ A polite knock on his head and this time Charles comes in without waiting. ]

I'm informing you that Raven is gone, returned to where she is from, no doubt. I've searched everywhere for her and there is no question.

[ Charles is deeply upset about it and already drinking, but there's nothing to be done. ]

[heavymetals]

[ Literally having just gotten his body back to normal days ago— it really seems this place won't let them catch a break.

He could say 'I'm sorry', but it feels like it would be empty of meaning and feeling both, so instead: ]

Do you want me there or would you rather be alone?

[thetruefocus]

Alone, thank you.

[heavymetals]

Alright.

[ It leaves him feeling a little helpless, admittedly, but he understands that sometimes you just need that. ]

Let me know if that changes.

[thetruefocus]

I'm getting some comfort from the knowledge she is doing fine after the White House and that she was open to us reconnecting. Perhaps we'll get the chance in the future.

[heavymetals]

You will, I'm sure of it. However long it takes her, she will make her way back to you.

[ Provided they manage to leave this damn place, but Erik isn't going to go down that road. ]

[thetruefocus]

I'll have to live with that.

[heavymetals]

I'm sorry, Charles. I know you were glad to have her here, but maybe it's not such a bad thing that she's no longer trapped here with us.

[thetruefocus]

It is the opposite of what she'd want, me hoping she'd stay stuck so I could be with her.

I fail at html yet again... sorry

[heavymetals]

If it was as she wanted, she would have done whatever it took to see you home. Even if it meant her staying here indefinitely.

What we want holds little meaning here, if whatever force brought us here can take us away just as suddenly.

[thetruefocus]

We have to live with it, that's the only way.

I will hold onto what we did have.

[heavymetals]

I would expect nothing else from you.

[thetruefocus]

If I am taken, and you remain, please remember what I have said to you here. Don't backpedal.

[heavymetals]

They've taken you from me once already, I would rather not think of the possibility of it happening again.

[ It was only his memories, granted, but it felt the same. Maybe worse. ]

[thetruefocus]

I'll not mention it again, outside of that reminder. I want what's best for you, Erik, always.

[heavymetals]

Then you have my word that I won't forget what you've said to me. So long as it is within my control, in any case.

[thetruefocus]

I've changed my mind, I think I could use some company. I have good news, that got a bit overwhelmed by my feelings about Raven.

[heavymetals]

Your room, or would you like to go elsewhere?

[ He doubts Charles is in a mood to go out, but there's no harm in asking. ]

[thetruefocus]

Can I come to yours?

[heavymetals]

Of course. I will be there in ten minutes.

[thetruefocus]

I'll be there in twenty.

[ That will give Charles time to clean up from his journey into the quadrants. He is tired and sad, and Logan is kind enough to give him space given his grief, but he would typically like to lick his wounds in private. And yet Erik is the only one who would understand and be grieving in his own way. Neither of them will get the closure they might have wanted. Perhaps there is an element of fear in Charles too, that a loss has hit him and it's made him more aware of other risks. After Erik's close call with the mannequin, he's unlikely to leave him alone for long.

He managed to find some clothes in the temporary mall that suited him, and it appears the 90s wasn't horribly different in his stiff style. He managed to find a button-up shirt and some comfortable slacks, although he left the coat behind given that it is damned warm out. A few buttons are undone for that reason. He feels more himself at the moment, even if that comes with a dose of pain for how himself Raven makes him feel, with or without her.

He knocks on Erik's door and gathers himself. He seems fairly put together but the grief is there in the details someone observant would see. The redness in his eyes, the slight bags in them, the heaviness of his shoulders.]

[heavymetals]

[ Quite frankly, the thing that bothers Erik the most is not knowing with absolute certainty that she's gone back to her own world and time. He hopes it, and tries to believe it, but the fact is that they don't really have definite proof of that. But that's a concern he keeps to himself, when he knows Charles is already struggling without having to face a worse scenario.

Before his trip to the mall with Wanda turned to absolute shit, Erik also managed to get a few things, including some clothes that suit him far better than poolside shirts. He opens the door in a plain blue sweater and dark jeans, having at least taken the time to shave for once. His hair is still something of a mess but he hasn't bothered trimming it yet, so it's curling around the back and just overall looking mussed up. Otherwise he looks far better than he did when he was stuck with that mannequin, having had a few decent nights of sleep, though he looks no happier when he opens the door for Charles.

Wordlessly, he steps aside so Charles can come in. His room's still mostly sparse, but there are a couple of new shoes near the door, a couple of basic items on top of the dresser, and a journal with a pencil case on his nightstand. The place is generally well-kept, probably unsurprisingly. He's set up a makeshift kitchen of sorts near the window, with a portable stove, a couple of pots, a kettle and other basic utensils. It's not perfect but at least it allows him to cook some more basic meals. ]

I got something for dinner, if you like.

[ He can only imagine that Charles hasn't really worried about that. ]

[thetruefocus]

[ Charles at this point has accepted that either she's gone or there is no way to find her. He's driven in every direction for hours and used his gifts as far as he can reach to no avail. She wouldn't ignore his messages and calls like this. He knows that it's said this happens, so it's what he'll have to come to terms with. If he had a hope that she was still here, he would never stop looking until he went mad.

The last time Charles saw him in person he was still partly mannequin so it's a relief to see him back to himself again. That was a deeply troubling experience for him, and it wasn't even happening to him, just someone that he loves. He knows that Erik is a very tough individual with a steel spine but he broke apart in that experience, as anyone would. ]

I probably should, I haven't eaten today.

[Charles isn't positive he ate yesterday either. He's been on the move. He tries to remember to care for himself but when emotionally fragile, he can get caught up in his worries and less on his needs. He notes all the small differences in Erik's room and it's unsurprising it's neat, Erik is no slob. Charles could probably use a shave, it's a little less tidy than he tries to keep on top of, but he's not on top of anything today. Being without her again is going to take a toll on him. ]

How are you? Since your ordeal.

[heavymetals]

[ Charles's state doesn't really surprise him much, knowing how affected he is by Raven's disappearance. Self-care is often the first thing to go when one's unwell mentally, and all the worse when on top of that he's going through what's essentially a process of grief. Even if she's fine elsewhere, she's not here now. Erik doubts she will reappear, too.

Food is a good start. He didn't really prepare in advance for a decent meal, but he has some canned foods and pasta's easy enough to manage, so he starts getting everything together while they talk. ]

I'm alright. [ It would be dismissive coming from anyone else, but Charles knows Erik's past better than anyone, so he knows that, however horrible an experience that was, it was far from the worst that he's been through. Losing his memories little by little was what scared him the most, really. ] The shields you put up didn't really do much, though I don't know if that thing reached into my mind the same way.

[ Still, it's a worry to keep in mind. Erik has a feeling that won't be the last time this place toys with them. ]

You went out there looking for her, didn't you? [ Outside of Panorama, he means. It's a rhetoric question, he knows that Charles went. ] Did you go on your own?

[ Because that sounds like just a really very bad idea. And this is coming from Erik Lehnsherr of all people. ]

[thetruefocus]

It's protected from outside psychics, but this was not so simple. However they worked, it wasn't telepathy in the traditional sense.

[ Charles may be a little defensive given that he promised to protect Erik's mind, and he has to the best of his ability, or perhaps it's more about guilt. Guilt for not doing enough, for not checking on him sooner, for Erik to have degraded so much he forgot who he was.

They solved it in the end, but that won't stop Charles from feeling responsible. Or that it wasn't deeply painful to watch Erik suffering so much, to see him in tears and struggling. In all the times Charles was angry at his friend, he never wanted him to be that low, he wouldn't wish that pain on anyone. And then Raven was gone and at the moment, Charles feels like he can do nothing right. Typical.

He breaks out of his wallowing to a different kind and he reluctantly nods.]

Yes, I didn't want company. I know it wasn't the safest but ... I just didn't.

[ Charles is terrible at sharing his pain. He is there for everyone else but has a hard time letting anyone be there for him. It is going to be a consistent problem but he's here with Erik, isn't he? He's trying to let him in, as the only other person who can understand his grief. But Charles was too focused on his goal, too frantic. And it led nowhere but to pain.

He rubs a hand through his hair and then over his face, sighing.]

I ... got a job, finally. I wanted to tell her.