[ It does feel wonderful. Erik doesn't even think of it as 'good enough', it's just good in its own right, even with the limitations they might face here. He's undeniably aroused, and he feels Charles's pleasure pouring into his own mind— it's different than a physical manifestation, but it's no less for it. If anything it feels all the more intense, with how closely linked their minds are like this.
His free hand brushes through Charles's hair, even while he coats his palm thoroughly, reluctant to let go but not putting up a fight when Charles moves his hand away and sinks it down between them. He knows where it's headed, of course, but he still lets out a moan when he feels those fingers curling around his girth, hips rocking faintly in encouragement, moving just enough to give Charles the space he needs to touch him. ]
All too often, [ He murmurs, warm and sweet against Charles's lips, tipping his head down to kiss him properly, however brief. ] In the car... at one of the motels. I wasn't, ah... very picky about where it happened.
[ He just wanted Charles's hands on him. He wanted his own hands all over Charles, too. It was a nearly herculean effort, the way he managed to stop himself. ]
Just like this, [ He says softly, reaching down so he can adjust Charles's wrist, guiding his thumb so it presses just below the crown at the tip of his cock, a soft gasp when Charles's fingers squeeze around him just right. ] God, Charles...
[ Charles always felt like Erik's mind was addictive for him. From the first time that he threw himself into it, he learned all about a man so different from him, different from any person he'd ever met. It was difficult to stay out of his mind from then because there was something about it that drew him in. Sinking back into it that first day they met was like coming home. Charles is consuming his thoughts and feelings and sharing his own, and there is no one else he would do this with.
It was a good thing that Charles did ultimately stay out of Erik's mind outside of when he asked explicit permission though. If he read anything about Erik fantasizing about him, it would be over. He moans at the same time Erik does when he feels his own hand. He can picture Erik doing this on his own, desperate the same way that he was.
He leans up into the kiss and deepens it, caressing their tongues together as his fingers slide up onto Erik's shoulder, nails digging into his skin a little. Charles adjusts his hand to Erik's request and strokes him more steadily now, faster and firmly, keeping his thumb in that space and then using it to curl around the inside of the tip, massaging it lightly.]
In the shower, I'd picture you rubbing against me just like this, covering me with your scent and come. That you could taste yourself on my skin afterward and smell you on me the next day.
[ He kisses him again, this time more intensely as he arches his back toward him, only the top half but it's still there, pushing up against Erik's body.]
[ In all fairness, Erik wouldn't need to adjust Charles's touch. For one, he's in his mind so he could easily read just how Erik likes to be touched. More importantly, it's Charles touching him, so he really could do just about anything and Erik would still be overwhelmed by it.
Just as he is now, between the stroke of Charles's hand, the heat coming from their kiss, and the presence of his mind in Erik's own. Then Charles adds to that by painting that rather vivid picture in his mind, and he lets out a shuddered moan, kiss breaking momentarily, only to dive back in with added intensity while his hand grips Charles's arm just a little tighter. How often had he thought of Charles while in the shower— how often had he imagined him in there with him? ]
We can make all of that a reality, now.
[ He doesn't need the encouragement but welcomes it nonetheless. His hips were already moving to meet the strokes of Charles's hand, but he adjust slightly now, knees slipping between Charles's legs, gently nudging them aside and settling between them. Charles may not feel it directly, but through Erik's mind he can feel how much he adores the contact, just getting to be near him. He slides one hand down Charles's side, hooking it around his hip, drawing it up slowly and with some reticence, their gazes meeting as if wordlessly asking Charles whether he is alright with it. ]
[ Charles takes in a deep breath when they momentarily part lips so he can meet Erik with plenty of breath in his lungs for their next intense one. He doesn't want to stop kissing him, he is addicted to his lips, his taste. His body heat is also appealing, he wants to get him sweaty and see it bead on his skin because of making love to him. Charles is a clean person but he likes a mess when it comes to sex, he likes letting go of his prissy ways.
He drags his other hand down Erik's back and it's not the easiest angle but he manages to grab his ass forwardly. He squeezes it tightly when Erik parts his legs for him, encouraging him to fill in the space between his legs and press in against him. Charles does feel that Erik likes the contact and is enjoying their skin to skin contact, and he likes it too. No barriers between them at all now.
There is maybe a tiny moment of hesitation when Erik hooks his leg but he doesn't say anything or stop it. It's more a frustration on his part because there's little he'd enjoy more than wrapping his legs around Erik's trim hips and holding him close. But if it gives Erik a better position to rock against him and get that grind, he's not going to stop him.]
Erik, come on, pound me into the mattress.
[ He can't do it inside of him but he can use the pressure and weight to do it just fine as is too. Charles wants to feel held down but also sheltered, he wants Erik to be everywhere around him. His hand moves quickly on his skin although each time he gets to the tip he caresses his thumb under the tip or now he strokes it on top of it, along the slit. He wants some of the precum to spread on the rest of Erik.]
[ It would be a lie if Erik said he wouldn't prefer Charles being able to wrap his legs around him too, but as that's not a possibility for them, it's not a thought that he lingers on. He loves what he can still have, and it doesn't feel lacking, the only thing he may regret is that Charles can't have this feeling too. Well, not the way he should, at least. He can still sense it through Erik's mind, it just might be strange to adapt to that different perspective.
Erik doesn't move him much, only a gentle tug, allowing him to shift closer and sink his weight down on top of him. The press of his hips is coupled with a low groan spilled into the kiss, lips parting wider and tongue diving into Charles's mouth, hungrier for the taste of him once he starts rutting against him, at a steady but heated pace, the grind of his hips making Charles shift a little on the mattress.
His arousal is quick to rise, but he's starting to learn that's always going to be the case, with Charles. Especially with the way he touches him, and the things he says. God, the mouth on him, Erik could come just hearing him be filthy every time. ]
I want to hear your voice. Hear you say my name. [ Say, whisper, moan, Erik isn't picky. He loves Charles's voice in his head but it's something else entirely to hear it out loud, note any shifts from how affected he might be from all of this. Erik breaks the kiss, panting for each breath, but still dragging his mouth hungrily down Charles's neck, fingers gripping his leg tighter as his hips rock a little harder, grinding into the squeeze of Charles's hand on his cock. ] Let me hear you.
[ Charles can't feel him rut directly but he can feel it through him, but also the rest of his body is enjoying it all the same. He likes the weight of Erik on him, he likes the way he's rocking against him. He likes feeling his lover working up a sweat by enjoying himself using Charles and taking what he needs. It's glorious and his brain is full of so many endorphins he's officially stopped thinking about what they could be doing instead and focused on the pleasure they are currently experiencing.
Charles does linger deeper into Erik's mind and digs in because it has been awhile since he got to experience an erection and he's grateful for the chance to again. He feels sexy too, looking on the other side of being in Erik rutting against his body, lusting after Charles so openly. He's panting out of the kiss with Erik despite not being the one needing to be out of breath, but he feels it like it's his own.]
Erik. My love.
[ Charles says his name like it's a caress. His hand is doing the job his heel would ordinarily, holding onto Erik's ass and pulling him in, feeling the ripple of his muscles as he rocks into Charles with abandon. Charles tilts his head back to give Erik full access to his neck, and he is far from quiet. He moans loudly, breaths coming in sharp and short, completely lost in how it feels to be caught up in Erik Lehnsherr.
His hand smooths Erik's precum onto the rest of him so his fingers are fully slick now, letting him move faster, tightening his grip at the same time. Charles cycles the pleasure between them until they're both experiencing it as one, the rise and fall of his smooth hand with Erik's thrusting against his body, his feelings mixed with Erik's, all together.]
Come on me. [ If Erik wants to hear him say hot words in his own voice, he's more than happy to oblige.] I want the scent and taste of you on my skin, Erik, I want to be doing ordinary things and picture you just like this.
[ He doesn't much care about what Charles says specifically, just that he wants to hear his voice. Even if he only ended up repeating Erik's name over and over again, he still would be happy enough. That Charles adds to it with such vivid, dirty detail makes it all the better, dragging a shuddered groan from Erik, his hips rocking harder and quicker against Charles.
Both hands on him work as more than encouragement, Charles is guiding him ever closer to the edge again the more he touches him, with the eager squeeze of that hand on his ass, the drag of Charles's palm on his cock, coated in precome already. Beads trickle from the tip, onto Charles's hands and fingers, and as his mouth parts to let out another moan, he drags his tongue up the column of Charles's throat, tasting the salt in his skin, breathing in the scent of him.
Charles is wrong, for the record. He tastes heavenly, Erik will take no arguments.
It is not long before Charles is guiding him right to where he wants him, pushed to the precipice and over it a second time. His pace less restrained now, all but fucking Charles into the mattress when he comes, spilling onto his stomach and undoubtedly making a complete mess of him. He grips Charles tightly to him, wanting him close as possible, lips parted and breath hot as he moans through his orgasm, mouth trailing closer to Charles's ear just so he can murmur his name as soon as he's able to form a single coherent thought. That single coherent thought just happens to be Charles, and nothing else. ]
[ Charles uses words in so many ways skillfully, to entreat or to scold or to inspire, but his tongue twists now with suggestive words and inspiration. He's a talker no matter what he's doing, and Erik's going to get used to how he says in that proper British accent very dirty things to him. Erik's already proven to get very turned on by it, so Charles will only get worse from here.
It does feel as close to being fucked into the mattress as he can get and Charles absolutely loves it. His eagerness to feel consumed and covered by Erik is intense and he groans as Erik's tongue caresses his neck.]
Yes, more, god Erik, please.
[ Charles is already a mess considering the sweat and precum is on him and he is eager to get more of it. He purposely aims his cock where he wants him to release onto his stomach, pumping him through his orgasm until he's fully spilled onto his skin as requested. For someone who is very clean and well put together ordinarily, at least these days he is back to his prissy ways, the fact he likes to be filthy in bed is a contrast that turns him on. He'll eventually want to clean up but for now he is deeply satisfied.
He is fully focused on Erik's body and sensations toward the end because he feels as needy about release as he is, moaning and holding tightly to Erik at the same time. He feels the rush of ecstasy like it's his own and feels light-headed, feverish, shaking as it electrifies his mind and a little bit of his own body.
His hand releases his ass to run up his back and into his hair, encouraging his head up so he can try to get past the angle to kiss Erik tenderly. Charles never thought he'd have any kind of sex again, and for it to be with his truest love, it's life-changing. He lets go of Erik's cock and wipes his dirty fingers off on his own chest, spreading more of it.]
Getting me out of your bed is going to be difficult at this point.
[ The way Charles lets go like this is certainly part of the appeal, not just the words he speaks only for Erik to hear, but the clear desire to be left a complete mess. A sentiment Erik shares completely, which is why he didn't hesitate to kiss Charles just moments after he'd come in his mouth, and he doesn't even think to shift away at all right now.
Even the air around them feels warm, his skin tingling with the aftershocks of his pleasure, his closed eyes only heightening that lingering sensation. His head tips up and when Charles finds his lips, he returns the kiss eagerly, just as warm and fond, yet entirely overwhelmed. His hips shift to settle his weight more comfortably once Charles lets go of him, and if it means he ends up stained with his own come, then so be it.
Charles's words draw a slow, lazy grin from him, a soft chuckle slipping past his lips while fingers brush gently through Charles's hair. ]
Mm, what a terrible predicament. Whatever shall I do?
[ At the moment he doesn't want anything more than for Charles to stay right where he is, so no complaints whatsoever. ]
[ Erik is heavy but he shifts his weight in a way that won't start to hurt, which is good because Charles isn't in a hurry to get him off entirely. But even he can get weighed down eventually. Instead they can still end up twined together like this and he sighs happily into Erik's mouth, kissing him slowly and sweetly. He feels just as much like he had two wonderful orgasms back to back and it's a little like being drunk mentally, he's giddy and relaxed.
They're both a mess between sweat and come and once it gets too sticky, Charles will get Erik to clean them off, but for now, he's happy. He chuckles when Erik does and nuzzles his head toward Erik's hand when he touches his hair, liking the feel of his fingers between his thick strands. ]
Stay like this, make up for lost time. Maybe finally have dinner.
[ Charles grins and twines both hands up over Erik's shoulders to lock at his neck, guiding him back down for another lingering kiss. He's never going to be tired of having access to his lips. ]
To think you ended up so easy to seduce.
[ Charles teases in his head because he's far too busy kissing Erik to speak it out loud right now. He's indulging himself.]
[ He doesn't plan on staying like this for long, but the closeness right now feels warm and a little addictive, and Erik can at least manage to balance his weight so it's not resting completely on top of Charles. He'll shift in a moment. Besides, they'll both need to clean up eventually, because as soon as soon as their brains stop swimming in chemicals, they'll undoubtedly be feeling sticky and uncomfortable. ]
We're going to need more than one night.
[ If they're making up for lost time, that is. Luckily Erik has every intention of making that a reality, and he knows it's the same for Charles. So long as it's within his control not to leave— but he's actively not thinking of that possibility. This moment right now is too precious for him to let it be ruined by those creeping thoughts.
He doesn't pull from the kiss when Charles's thought slips into his head, but his lips curl into a grin, and he lets out a soft laugh, tilting his head and pressing back in a moment after. ]
Please, like I'm the only one who's easy.
[ There's no point in denying it at this point really, Charles wouldn't have even needed to ask him for that first kiss. Erik just wanted absolute confirmation that an advance from him would be welcome. ]
We'll have all the nights we can get, Erik. [ He runs his fingers through Erik's hair, tilting his head back so their eyes can meet.] You are my forever. You've always been.
[ Charles is not saying he wants to let them settle in and see how it goes because he thinks they're not meant for each other. That, in his opinion, is fact. The way they met, the relationship they formed, the perfect peace he felt when he was with Erik, it made him certain that this was someone he was meant to be with. A terribly romantic notion, but it's been an unspoken romance for a long time. He knows where he stands, where they stand, now that they're together.
It sounds as if despite all their time apart and their violent and bitter days, their connection has gone no where. Erik said it himself. He is thinking of all the things they can have now.
He laughs into Erik's mouth too and breaks away from the ongoing makeout that he inspired. He's still a little out of breath from sex and then his incapability of letting those lips be without his own.]
I was thinking of kissing you on the bloody plane to Paris, Erik. After we were yelling at each other. I'm as easy as you can get.
[ His grin turns into more of a fond smile, fingers still carding through Charles's hair, gaze locked with his. He always felt like he could drown in those eyes, and that feels truer now than ever before. ]
I like that.
[ Having all the nights, being each other's forever. In a way, Erik knew that's what they always were, something that ran much deeper than friendship, and to him, impossible to explain when he'd never once allowed anyone to get that close to him. Maybe a fear of what he didn't know also held him back from taking a risk. He never thought it would hurt so much to turn his back on what they might have had, not until he actually threw it all away.
That he gets to have it now feels like a miracle, and something that somewhere deep down he still doesn't know that he really deserves. That's not something he's thinking of right now, though, so immersed in the high of their pleasure and the warmth of their love that he could not possibly care for anything else right now. ]
Well, I wanted to kiss you after you punched me in the face, so.
[ Not saying he enjoyed that necessarily. But it was kind of hot. ]
[ Charles would disagree. He thinks Erik deserves far better than his life has been so far. He spent the majority of his life suffering and traumatized, and with a level of loss and pain that Charles himself cannot understand outside of what he's absorbed through his empathy. He's seen everything that Erik is, parts of him that even Erik doesn't know about, and he loves him.
But that doesn't mean trust is automatically back between them. Not fully. Charles sees Erik for what he is and all of his flaws as well as his good parts. He can have sex with him and want to be with him, and still need time to fully trust and forgive him. He already begged him not to leave again, he's not sure he believes him fully yet. This will help though, them being so honest with each other finally. Nothing hidden between them, not that it was much of a secret.]
If we were alone, I might have.
[ Too public, Peter and Logan literally standing there, the situation in danger. Charles was feeling a whole lot of things all at once and struggling with laying eyes on Erik since he left with Raven. Kissing him was one of those things he was feeling, like he was desperate to have his hands on him, even if it was to strangle him.]
I can't really explain it, I feel like my heart's been pointed at you since the moment we met. At my most romantic and ridiculous, I started believing in love at first sight and meant to be.
[ Charles isn't sure that either of them can explain it. Their obsession with each other is consuming and specific. It would have to be something irrationally romantic to supersede all the reasons that he shouldn't want to be with Erik. Everything bad that is between them. He isn't ready to tell anyone because he doesn't know yet what he'll say. He loves him despite the wheelchair, despite the violence? Yet holding onto Erik right now, breathing in his air, he does. Nothing else matters to him and his thudding heart.]
I should have had sex with you. [ Charles frames his face with his hands, piercing blue eyes on him.] You would have never left me if we had this.
[ He sounds sure because he is. He knows Erik better than anyone. To leave Charles after this, it would have taken someone far crueller. No matter what they disagreed on, the love they're allowed to feel between them now is more than it.]
You won't leave me now. I'm going to have so much sex with you.
[ That's something he can accept, and understand. Charles did state the moment they reunited that salvaging whatever they had was not so easy, and some actions can't just be erased. Erik doesn't want to erase them, either. He knows the mistakes he's made, just as he knows the bad things that he's done yet still doesn't regret. Some of it was necessary, in his mind he still believes that. The rest was... anger, pain, grief all rolled into one, and Erik letting that supersede everything that he'd gotten that was even remotely good in his life.
That is a nice thought to indulge in. A scenario where it was only the two of them when they reunited. Somehow he doubts Charles wouldn't still go for that sucker punch, but Erik also would have not stopped a kiss if that was what followed. It would have probably ended up a whole other kind of mess. This is... better. ]
I didn't even have to lay my eyes on you. You were in my head even before then.
[ Quite literally, too. That first contact, sudden and unexpected, felt overwhelming in every sense, and Erik wonders if it was a bond that was created just then, or if what he felt in that moment was conclusive evidence that soulmates are a real, tangible concept he'd never entertained before. So, maybe Charles wasn't the only one being excessively romantic and ridiculous.
He rests his hand over Charles's, expression struggling for a moment, nowhere near as certain of that as Charles himself is. He wishes he could be as sure as Charles is of that, but he really doesn't know how it would have all played out. He remembers still how determined he was to get to Shaw, how willing he was to sacrifice anything to kill him. He knows that being any closer to Charles wouldn't have changed his mind on that. The consequences of his own actions might have only become all the more catastrophic after that. He may have only ended up hurting Charles even more.
He's pulled from those thoughts with that last remark, drawing a soft chuckle from him. He tilts his head so he can press a kiss to Charles's palm, then his wrist. ]
I'll hold you to that.
[ Resting that hand back on his cheek, his own fingers trace along Charles's jaw, knuckles brushing against his temple. ]
You know that doesn't actually matter to me.
[ He does like that they're able to have sex, obviously, but Erik wouldn't have been any less serious about this even if they weren't. Them being physically intimate isn't a determining factor on whether or not he stays. ]
[ As long as they both give each other space to deal with their emotions with time while also having this, they should be fine. Charles isn't in denial that this is complicated for him. That Erik in general is complicated. Loving him is easy, living with him and everything else between them is harder. The point is the main thing holding them back, an enormous amount of unresolved sexual tension, has been released. That takes one obstacle away from their happiness.
And Charles does feel happy right now. Happier than he has since Erik and Raven left him. Erik can feel it floating from him into his mind, this lightness that has been stifled for so long. He can talk about foolish things like kissing Erik after punching him, or the idea of love at first sight, and while he's making fun of the concept, he also feels it to his core. ]
Your beautiful, beautiful mind.
[ To anyone else it was probably not. There were so many jagged edges and harsh lines, a twisted tense amount of grief and fury wrapped up. It was one of the darkest and saddest minds he'd ever touched, he didn't know a human mind could be that suffering and yet that strong. Erik was in the midst of his fury and despair trying to pull the sub even at the end of his life. But as Charles ran through his mind to understand what he was doing and pull him out, he threaded through Erik's mind like his hands through his hair, he felt through it all.
He'd never gone that deeply into anyone's mind. It was also the way that Erik said he thought he was alone, desperate, broken, and a touch hopeful.]
I wanted to give you everything you never had.
[ Love and hope and beauty and belief. He saw a damaged mind and yes, wanted to fix it, but not the way that he could if he wanted to. He wanted to watch Erik grow and experience on his own. It was a fine line to walk. He is more certain than Erik is that he would not have left him. It was never about killing Shaw. Charles accepted that would happen. He didn't love being a part of it, but he was worried Erik would kill him and then see the emptiness that left in him after. Their break had nothing to do with killing Shaw and everything to do with the humans afterward. But if he could have just given Erik a reason to stay.]
It matters to me.
[ Charles runs his thumb over Erik's lips, his favorite thing to trace them now, to have endess use of them.]
I can live without it and I have, but I don't want to be something broken that can't enjoy everything about a relationship.
[ The sex component is frankly not about Erik. It's Charles' own stubbornness in not denying himself something he deserves because of his limitations. They can obviously work around it and have, and that's what he needed. Symbolically, it's not about whether it matters, per se, but whether he can have everything he needs to be content. And for a serious relationship, that does include sex.]
You know I love feeling you, but you may officially be in the too heavy category now.
[ Charles likes it but they do eventually have to break apart and he can't do it forever. He kisses Erik one more time because he can and hugs him, arms wrapped around to enjoy it through the stickiness, but then releases him.]
[ Erik is certainly not intending to push or rush anything, whatever time Charles needs, whatever time they both need, they will get. To Erik's credit, he can be a very patient man when it's something that he truly wants, and right now he wants this more than he's wanted anything else in his life. Even ending Shaw's life. He felt a relief then, a genuine notion of a door finally closing, a chapter ended. But he did not feel better, he did not feel happy, and it did not make him feel like he'd just found a new part of himself.
With Charles, he feels all those things. Every time he talks, every time he smiles at him, every single brush of their minds coming together. He doesn't know where Charles's happiness ends and his own begins, but when they're this close, sharing every thought and emotion with one another, it truly doesn't matter. ]
You already have.
[ Even before this, he'd already given Erik more than he thought he'd ever find, but now that is all the truer. To think that he could ever find this pure sort of happiness, even in a place like this. It feels almost a dream. ]
I know. [ And he understands, really. He just doesn't want Charles to think that leaving right now would be easier if they couldn't have sex. What keeps him here right now is a bond that goes much deeper than that. Still, he is obviously glad they get to have this too, and all the more so when he can feel how happy it makes Charles.
He chuckles softly at the gentle accusation, an indirect request for Erik to move. Stealing another kiss, he pushes himself off slowly, rolling onto his side and sinking on the mattress next to Charles. He'll get up to get them cleaned in a moment, but first he's going to prop his weight up on an elbow, admiring the view of his lover lying on the bed like this, still a little flushed and messy and, the best part, covered in Erik's release. ]
[ Their feelings bleeding into each other may be why occasionally Charles forces them to have distance, although they may very well have a permanent underlining psychic bond now that they've been attached so intensely. He likes them sharing everything and it feels good, but they do have their own minds and should occasionally remember how to be individuals. They can have both a joined mind and an independent one, he just has to remember to separate them.
He's glad he's with someone who doesn't mind that being with him means being permanently open to his power. Charles could be in a relationship with someone who needed that distance permanently, and he would respect that, but it would be a constant effort to write those lines and stick to them. This is much more natural to him, and with Erik, it's difficult not to go in deep. Not to swim his way through the beautiful mind he fell in love with. ]
I love you, Erik.
[ He's given him all of himself now. It's not about the sex, like Erik wants him to understand, and he does. He never thought that it was sex precisely that would keep them together, it's more about what it symbolizes. Ultimate intimacy. Sex and love and being wrapped up tight in each other. It's true that Erik could have left him and destroyed him more completely, if they'd openly been in love at that point, but Charles is going to keep thinking that's not what would happen.
But he isn't holding it against himself in the past either. They know what did or didn't happen and their reasons for holding back. It gives him more reason to hold on tightly to Erik now. He wants to believe he won't leave him again, that this is something he does get to keep forever.
Charles groans when Erik finally does move off him because he's partially sorry but also partially relieved because the pressure moves off him. He can breathe a little easier even if he didn't mind it before. He smiles up at Erik when he looks at him with such admiration. It feeds his ego, which to be fair has been bruised up until now, so he is devouring it.]
Because you enjoy claiming me as much as I enjoy being claimed.
[ That is what being covered in Erik feels like to him, that he's smelling and tasting of Erik. Charles admires his body openly, Erik truly is a gorgeous man. His hand moves over his chest and purposely picks off some of the stick that Erik ended up on him too when he kept close. Charles lifts it to his mouth to lick it off his finger.]
It was one of my ongoing fantasies about you. I'm happy to say the reality is far better.
[ They'll find balance in this, he's sure of it. They both know the value of their individuality, of who they are as separate minds outside of any relationship they might have, so Erik's not concerned about either of them struggling to find a comfortable middle ground. But in moments like this, he doesn't want to pull away, and he doesn't want Charles to pull away from him either.
Those words sink warmly into him, though they're nothing Erik doesn't know, when he can feel them even in the presence of Charles's mind in his own. To be fair, Charles's feelings for him have been made rather obvious and very much clear even before tonight, but to hear the words said out loud still carries a different weight, making Erik's heart beat quicker, and his smile soften. He watches Charles like he can't bear to tear his eyes from him, resting a hand on Charles's side, slowly trailing his way higher. ]
Though I'm sure you know all too well that you're mine, I fully intend to remind you at every opportunity.
[ By telling him, claiming him, having him just like this time and again. Charles definitely won't be lacking reminders.
Reaching his shoulder, Erik's fingers trace then over his arm, a low hum while he watches Charles lick the taste of Erik's release off his own fingertips. Damn him, he's going to drive Erik to madness at this rate. He grips Charles by the wrist, tipping his head to press his mouth over the pulse point, kissing his palm and fingers, then easing his hold so he can press their hands, palm to palm, weaving their fingers together as he leans down to kiss Charles again.
It seems that it's going to be a challenge for the both of them, finding some way not to constantly be kissing each other. ]
[ Being in love with each other is not new. They might not have phrased it that way if they did open up to being together back then, because it was a new experience for both of them, but the truth of what they were settled in firmer once they were apart. Charles could see more clearly what they could have been once it was over. At the time, they'd been overwhelmed with creating the team and fighting Shaw and focusing on training. Their moments together were in the midst of more important things. And then Erik was gone and the loss of him was harder than any friendship could have meant. He loved him, and it was too late to say so.
Loving each other is the easy part now. Charles sees that particular look in Erik's eyes, the one that says he can't bear to look away from him, and it's deeply satisfying. He wants his eyes on him, constantly. He'll settle for nothing less than mutual obsession. He smiles smugly at him, letting Erik's fingers trace over his body as much as he likes.]
Good. Maybe next time instead of swallowing I'll let you come on my face. You can claim me everywhere.
[ He planned on tempting him with a little sucking of his finger, his words already very dirty, but Erik holds his hand instead and his heart melts. He leans up into the kiss and sighs into it, thinking their lips are going to eventually start becoming swollen if they can't stop. Charles isn't even sorry. He licks his way into Erik's mouth and runs his hand down his side, curving on his ass to hold it possessively.]
I need all of this I can get, I'm not much of a public display person, so we're clear. I just ... like some things to be private.
[ This isn't about the X-Men specifically, Charles is a bit too proper to be tonguing his boyfriend where everyone can watch him.]
[ Charles will have plenty of opportunity to be filthy and suggestive, right now Erik vastly prefers the reaction he gets when he weaves their fingers together, feeling Charles practically melt into that kiss. Not that Erik can't be horribly shameless himself, which Charles will learn soon enough, but he's also finding that he craves the truly, most cheesy romantic things that come with being in a relationship. Good thing Charles soaks up the attention, hopefully he'll not tire of it. ]
I think I can live with that.
[ Said with a soft, amused little smile. Personally Erik rather likes some public gestures of affection (definitely not having tongues shoved down each other's throats, though, that's a bit much even for him), but it's not something he's that set on. Hardly a struggle to agree to a limit that makes Charles more comfortable. Not that it matters at this juncture, as they're still keeping this relationship between them.
His smile sharpens a hint, hips shifting on the bed, a pleased hum while Charles hold his ass. ]
I might come twice just from seeing you a mess, my release dripping down your cheeks. Lord, Charles, you'll drive me mad yet, I swear.
[ Charles is a romantic and soft-hearted, he will eat up the attention and affection as much as he can get it. He always imagined being in love, it was something he did want even as a youth, but decided not to go searching for it. He had other things to focus on as he grew up and went through his PhD, but he was open to the option, ready to let his heart be stolen away when the right person came along. He just could never have foreseen who it would end up being until he pulled this man out of the water.]
Hand-holding or a kiss on the cheek is fine, once we're public. Interesting that I'm picking up no active homophobia here, so us being men wouldn't matter.
[ Those are barely public displays of affection in his mind. Charles was very affectionate with Raven but she was his sister, but he has no problem with more platonic-level touches around others. He hasn't internalized any homophobia but he would be more careful if that was a problem around here. Charles doesn't like fighting battles that he finds exhausting rather than fruitful. In this case, they don't have to worry about it. Very different from their era, in the best sense.
Charles gripped onto his ass when they were in the moment to pull him but now he's simply enjoying the shape and curve of it in his hand. A very nice one. He pats it gently.]
To be honest, this is why we couldn't have had sex earlier. We'd get absolutely nothing else done.
[ They had mutants to recruit, a team to create, training to do, and then eventually Shaw. And the two of them would have ended up lying in bed like right now, thinking of nothing but each other. Charles would come up with all kinds of reasons why they could spend another day in bed instead of in the car, or sneaking Erik into his room at the mansion. This is already so bloody consuming and it's been two orgasms.]
I spent so much time picturing you naked, and now I can look my fill.
[ Charles does exactly that. He drops his gaze from Erik's equally handsome face to trail down his shoulders and arms, his chest and stomach somewhat painted with his own come, and down to his soft but still deliciously large cock. It is shameless the way he's admiring him. Finally his oogling moves his gaze back to Erik's eyes, smiling at him in the exact way he used to, in order to get Erik to grin at him. ]
You should probably go get something to clean us off or I'm just going to seduce you again.
[ Interesting that Charles even tells him that as if he would give a damn about it, really. Yes, he understands that Charles would rather pick his battles, but that's Charles. Erik is just going to pick all the battles, thank you.
But he supposes it is nice that he can smile at Charles or hold his hand without some bigot asking to get their nose broken. And that's if Erik was feeling lenient, honestly.
To the next remark, Erik laughs. ]
Yes, I fear that all our plans may have fallen by the wayside.
[ Up to and including his goal of killing Shaw. He's almost sure that Charles would derail him from every other coherent thought if he'd been in his bed every night like he is now. Erik's already struggling to want to do literally anything else but lie here with him.
Charles is more than welcome to ogle, get his fill of it and make up for the time lost. Erik hasn't stopped gazing at Charles either, a fond and amused smile when he can feel exactly where Charles's eyes are fixed at any given moment. ]
That... [ He pulls Charles's hand close to him, pressing a kiss to his knuckles. ] Might just be a good idea.
[ Letting go before he gives into the temptation to kiss Charles yet again, he climbs out of bed and heads into the bathroom. And maybe he walks purposefully slowly so Charles can enjoy the view from behind— he's welcome. ]
[ He knows Erik would not give a damn about it, and it's not as if they can't handle themselves if someone made a problem about it. Charles alone could make them go dress up in a tutu as punishment for it. But he picks the path of least resistance. No battles for them. They can't be together in their world, and that has nothing to do with their gender, so this is their chance. And if he wants to hold his boyfriend's hand, he's going to.
Erik laughing is beautiful to behold. Before they met he's fairly certain Erik's laughs were minimal if ever existing at all, and then together he always managed to get a smile out of him when he wanted to. But laughs are still rare enough to be treasured. It's true that they probably would have gotten very distracted from their goals if they were making love every day. They'll have to get out of this bed eventually too, but it's not a concern for now.
Charles almost persuades him to come down for a kiss instead and then distracted him all over again, but he smiles and lets him go. And not in small part because his eyes immediately are glued to Erik's ass and staring at him walk away. He whistles very deliberately as he checks him out, trying to get him to laugh again.
But damn is he sexy. Charles admires the whole length of him, from his shoulders down to his thighs and up again. Gorgeous. He's so in love with him. Charles takes the time to push himself up a little more on the bed. He can move himself well, he has good arms, and he sits with his back against the bed frame for now. He makes certain not to spill any of Erik on the bed and to keep it securely on his body, both for cleanliness and because it's his and he's possessive.]
Bring back water too, if you don't mind.
[ They've worked up a sweat, to say the least. Charles is thirsty in more than one way.]
And walk back in just as slowly. I want to oogle you in an offensive way.
[ Charles gets another laugh for that, though a little quieter, and Erik doesn't even glance back to him as he keeps walking. He's not just walking around for Charles's enjoyment, there is a purpose to him having unlatched himself from the man on his bed.
He disappears from view as he goes into the bathroom, though he tries not to take too long. He does quick work of cleaning himself with a damp towel, getting two others ready to take with him back to Charles. He doesn't bother drying himself completely but he'd rather make sure Charles is as comfortable as possible, so one to clean him and another to dry him off.
At Charles's request, he walks back out at a leisurely pace, lingering under the door frame for a few seconds, admiring Charles just as much as he's being watched himself. He does eventually move, quick detour to the table so he can fill a glass with water, then brings it to the bed, sitting by the edge of the mattress as he hands it to Charles. ]
Best not ogle too much, I'm not letting you seduce me again just yet. I fully intend to still cook you dinner tonight.
[ He must be hungry right now, despite the fact that tonight's events have taken a rather unexpected turn. It just seems a good idea to actually see to their basic needs for however long they manage to keep their hands off each other. ]
Hands away.
[ He sets the dry towel down on the bed, then with the damp one starts wiping the mess on Charles's stomach and chest. The amount of it almost surprises Erik, but for the most part he's just mesmerized by the sight, pale smooth skin marked by his release. Part of him almost wants to leave it just as it is, an impractical fantasy that really isn't even necessary when he knows that Charles belongs to him as completely as he does Charles.
His gaze flickers to Charles's face, smiling faintly. The thoughts in his mind right now undoubtedly not a secret to him, he may as well be an open book at the moment. ]
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His free hand brushes through Charles's hair, even while he coats his palm thoroughly, reluctant to let go but not putting up a fight when Charles moves his hand away and sinks it down between them. He knows where it's headed, of course, but he still lets out a moan when he feels those fingers curling around his girth, hips rocking faintly in encouragement, moving just enough to give Charles the space he needs to touch him. ]
All too often, [ He murmurs, warm and sweet against Charles's lips, tipping his head down to kiss him properly, however brief. ] In the car... at one of the motels. I wasn't, ah... very picky about where it happened.
[ He just wanted Charles's hands on him. He wanted his own hands all over Charles, too. It was a nearly herculean effort, the way he managed to stop himself. ]
Just like this, [ He says softly, reaching down so he can adjust Charles's wrist, guiding his thumb so it presses just below the crown at the tip of his cock, a soft gasp when Charles's fingers squeeze around him just right. ] God, Charles...
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It was a good thing that Charles did ultimately stay out of Erik's mind outside of when he asked explicit permission though. If he read anything about Erik fantasizing about him, it would be over. He moans at the same time Erik does when he feels his own hand. He can picture Erik doing this on his own, desperate the same way that he was.
He leans up into the kiss and deepens it, caressing their tongues together as his fingers slide up onto Erik's shoulder, nails digging into his skin a little. Charles adjusts his hand to Erik's request and strokes him more steadily now, faster and firmly, keeping his thumb in that space and then using it to curl around the inside of the tip, massaging it lightly.]
In the shower, I'd picture you rubbing against me just like this, covering me with your scent and come. That you could taste yourself on my skin afterward and smell you on me the next day.
[ He kisses him again, this time more intensely as he arches his back toward him, only the top half but it's still there, pushing up against Erik's body.]
Use my hand and body to please yourself, Erik.
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Just as he is now, between the stroke of Charles's hand, the heat coming from their kiss, and the presence of his mind in Erik's own. Then Charles adds to that by painting that rather vivid picture in his mind, and he lets out a shuddered moan, kiss breaking momentarily, only to dive back in with added intensity while his hand grips Charles's arm just a little tighter. How often had he thought of Charles while in the shower— how often had he imagined him in there with him? ]
We can make all of that a reality, now.
[ He doesn't need the encouragement but welcomes it nonetheless. His hips were already moving to meet the strokes of Charles's hand, but he adjust slightly now, knees slipping between Charles's legs, gently nudging them aside and settling between them. Charles may not feel it directly, but through Erik's mind he can feel how much he adores the contact, just getting to be near him. He slides one hand down Charles's side, hooking it around his hip, drawing it up slowly and with some reticence, their gazes meeting as if wordlessly asking Charles whether he is alright with it. ]
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He drags his other hand down Erik's back and it's not the easiest angle but he manages to grab his ass forwardly. He squeezes it tightly when Erik parts his legs for him, encouraging him to fill in the space between his legs and press in against him. Charles does feel that Erik likes the contact and is enjoying their skin to skin contact, and he likes it too. No barriers between them at all now.
There is maybe a tiny moment of hesitation when Erik hooks his leg but he doesn't say anything or stop it. It's more a frustration on his part because there's little he'd enjoy more than wrapping his legs around Erik's trim hips and holding him close. But if it gives Erik a better position to rock against him and get that grind, he's not going to stop him.]
Erik, come on, pound me into the mattress.
[ He can't do it inside of him but he can use the pressure and weight to do it just fine as is too. Charles wants to feel held down but also sheltered, he wants Erik to be everywhere around him. His hand moves quickly on his skin although each time he gets to the tip he caresses his thumb under the tip or now he strokes it on top of it, along the slit. He wants some of the precum to spread on the rest of Erik.]
I want you all over me. I want to drip with you.
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Erik doesn't move him much, only a gentle tug, allowing him to shift closer and sink his weight down on top of him. The press of his hips is coupled with a low groan spilled into the kiss, lips parting wider and tongue diving into Charles's mouth, hungrier for the taste of him once he starts rutting against him, at a steady but heated pace, the grind of his hips making Charles shift a little on the mattress.
His arousal is quick to rise, but he's starting to learn that's always going to be the case, with Charles. Especially with the way he touches him, and the things he says. God, the mouth on him, Erik could come just hearing him be filthy every time. ]
I want to hear your voice. Hear you say my name. [ Say, whisper, moan, Erik isn't picky. He loves Charles's voice in his head but it's something else entirely to hear it out loud, note any shifts from how affected he might be from all of this. Erik breaks the kiss, panting for each breath, but still dragging his mouth hungrily down Charles's neck, fingers gripping his leg tighter as his hips rock a little harder, grinding into the squeeze of Charles's hand on his cock. ] Let me hear you.
thanks for the patience I'm back from vacay!
Charles does linger deeper into Erik's mind and digs in because it has been awhile since he got to experience an erection and he's grateful for the chance to again. He feels sexy too, looking on the other side of being in Erik rutting against his body, lusting after Charles so openly. He's panting out of the kiss with Erik despite not being the one needing to be out of breath, but he feels it like it's his own.]
Erik. My love.
[ Charles says his name like it's a caress. His hand is doing the job his heel would ordinarily, holding onto Erik's ass and pulling him in, feeling the ripple of his muscles as he rocks into Charles with abandon. Charles tilts his head back to give Erik full access to his neck, and he is far from quiet. He moans loudly, breaths coming in sharp and short, completely lost in how it feels to be caught up in Erik Lehnsherr.
His hand smooths Erik's precum onto the rest of him so his fingers are fully slick now, letting him move faster, tightening his grip at the same time. Charles cycles the pleasure between them until they're both experiencing it as one, the rise and fall of his smooth hand with Erik's thrusting against his body, his feelings mixed with Erik's, all together.]
Come on me. [ If Erik wants to hear him say hot words in his own voice, he's more than happy to oblige.] I want the scent and taste of you on my skin, Erik, I want to be doing ordinary things and picture you just like this.
welcome back!! ✨
Both hands on him work as more than encouragement, Charles is guiding him ever closer to the edge again the more he touches him, with the eager squeeze of that hand on his ass, the drag of Charles's palm on his cock, coated in precome already. Beads trickle from the tip, onto Charles's hands and fingers, and as his mouth parts to let out another moan, he drags his tongue up the column of Charles's throat, tasting the salt in his skin, breathing in the scent of him.
Charles is wrong, for the record. He tastes heavenly, Erik will take no arguments.
It is not long before Charles is guiding him right to where he wants him, pushed to the precipice and over it a second time. His pace less restrained now, all but fucking Charles into the mattress when he comes, spilling onto his stomach and undoubtedly making a complete mess of him. He grips Charles tightly to him, wanting him close as possible, lips parted and breath hot as he moans through his orgasm, mouth trailing closer to Charles's ear just so he can murmur his name as soon as he's able to form a single coherent thought. That single coherent thought just happens to be Charles, and nothing else. ]
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It does feel as close to being fucked into the mattress as he can get and Charles absolutely loves it. His eagerness to feel consumed and covered by Erik is intense and he groans as Erik's tongue caresses his neck.]
Yes, more, god Erik, please.
[ Charles is already a mess considering the sweat and precum is on him and he is eager to get more of it. He purposely aims his cock where he wants him to release onto his stomach, pumping him through his orgasm until he's fully spilled onto his skin as requested. For someone who is very clean and well put together ordinarily, at least these days he is back to his prissy ways, the fact he likes to be filthy in bed is a contrast that turns him on. He'll eventually want to clean up but for now he is deeply satisfied.
He is fully focused on Erik's body and sensations toward the end because he feels as needy about release as he is, moaning and holding tightly to Erik at the same time. He feels the rush of ecstasy like it's his own and feels light-headed, feverish, shaking as it electrifies his mind and a little bit of his own body.
His hand releases his ass to run up his back and into his hair, encouraging his head up so he can try to get past the angle to kiss Erik tenderly. Charles never thought he'd have any kind of sex again, and for it to be with his truest love, it's life-changing. He lets go of Erik's cock and wipes his dirty fingers off on his own chest, spreading more of it.]
Getting me out of your bed is going to be difficult at this point.
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Even the air around them feels warm, his skin tingling with the aftershocks of his pleasure, his closed eyes only heightening that lingering sensation. His head tips up and when Charles finds his lips, he returns the kiss eagerly, just as warm and fond, yet entirely overwhelmed. His hips shift to settle his weight more comfortably once Charles lets go of him, and if it means he ends up stained with his own come, then so be it.
Charles's words draw a slow, lazy grin from him, a soft chuckle slipping past his lips while fingers brush gently through Charles's hair. ]
Mm, what a terrible predicament. Whatever shall I do?
[ At the moment he doesn't want anything more than for Charles to stay right where he is, so no complaints whatsoever. ]
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They're both a mess between sweat and come and once it gets too sticky, Charles will get Erik to clean them off, but for now, he's happy. He chuckles when Erik does and nuzzles his head toward Erik's hand when he touches his hair, liking the feel of his fingers between his thick strands. ]
Stay like this, make up for lost time. Maybe finally have dinner.
[ Charles grins and twines both hands up over Erik's shoulders to lock at his neck, guiding him back down for another lingering kiss. He's never going to be tired of having access to his lips. ]
To think you ended up so easy to seduce.
[ Charles teases in his head because he's far too busy kissing Erik to speak it out loud right now. He's indulging himself.]
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We're going to need more than one night.
[ If they're making up for lost time, that is. Luckily Erik has every intention of making that a reality, and he knows it's the same for Charles. So long as it's within his control not to leave— but he's actively not thinking of that possibility. This moment right now is too precious for him to let it be ruined by those creeping thoughts.
He doesn't pull from the kiss when Charles's thought slips into his head, but his lips curl into a grin, and he lets out a soft laugh, tilting his head and pressing back in a moment after. ]
Please, like I'm the only one who's easy.
[ There's no point in denying it at this point really, Charles wouldn't have even needed to ask him for that first kiss. Erik just wanted absolute confirmation that an advance from him would be welcome. ]
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[ Charles is not saying he wants to let them settle in and see how it goes because he thinks they're not meant for each other. That, in his opinion, is fact. The way they met, the relationship they formed, the perfect peace he felt when he was with Erik, it made him certain that this was someone he was meant to be with. A terribly romantic notion, but it's been an unspoken romance for a long time. He knows where he stands, where they stand, now that they're together.
It sounds as if despite all their time apart and their violent and bitter days, their connection has gone no where. Erik said it himself. He is thinking of all the things they can have now.
He laughs into Erik's mouth too and breaks away from the ongoing makeout that he inspired. He's still a little out of breath from sex and then his incapability of letting those lips be without his own.]
I was thinking of kissing you on the bloody plane to Paris, Erik. After we were yelling at each other. I'm as easy as you can get.
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I like that.
[ Having all the nights, being each other's forever. In a way, Erik knew that's what they always were, something that ran much deeper than friendship, and to him, impossible to explain when he'd never once allowed anyone to get that close to him. Maybe a fear of what he didn't know also held him back from taking a risk. He never thought it would hurt so much to turn his back on what they might have had, not until he actually threw it all away.
That he gets to have it now feels like a miracle, and something that somewhere deep down he still doesn't know that he really deserves. That's not something he's thinking of right now, though, so immersed in the high of their pleasure and the warmth of their love that he could not possibly care for anything else right now. ]
Well, I wanted to kiss you after you punched me in the face, so.
[ Not saying he enjoyed that necessarily. But it was kind of hot. ]
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But that doesn't mean trust is automatically back between them. Not fully. Charles sees Erik for what he is and all of his flaws as well as his good parts. He can have sex with him and want to be with him, and still need time to fully trust and forgive him. He already begged him not to leave again, he's not sure he believes him fully yet. This will help though, them being so honest with each other finally. Nothing hidden between them, not that it was much of a secret.]
If we were alone, I might have.
[ Too public, Peter and Logan literally standing there, the situation in danger. Charles was feeling a whole lot of things all at once and struggling with laying eyes on Erik since he left with Raven. Kissing him was one of those things he was feeling, like he was desperate to have his hands on him, even if it was to strangle him.]
I can't really explain it, I feel like my heart's been pointed at you since the moment we met. At my most romantic and ridiculous, I started believing in love at first sight and meant to be.
[ Charles isn't sure that either of them can explain it. Their obsession with each other is consuming and specific. It would have to be something irrationally romantic to supersede all the reasons that he shouldn't want to be with Erik. Everything bad that is between them. He isn't ready to tell anyone because he doesn't know yet what he'll say. He loves him despite the wheelchair, despite the violence? Yet holding onto Erik right now, breathing in his air, he does. Nothing else matters to him and his thudding heart.]
I should have had sex with you. [ Charles frames his face with his hands, piercing blue eyes on him.] You would have never left me if we had this.
[ He sounds sure because he is. He knows Erik better than anyone. To leave Charles after this, it would have taken someone far crueller. No matter what they disagreed on, the love they're allowed to feel between them now is more than it.]
You won't leave me now. I'm going to have so much sex with you.
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That is a nice thought to indulge in. A scenario where it was only the two of them when they reunited. Somehow he doubts Charles wouldn't still go for that sucker punch, but Erik also would have not stopped a kiss if that was what followed. It would have probably ended up a whole other kind of mess. This is... better. ]
I didn't even have to lay my eyes on you. You were in my head even before then.
[ Quite literally, too. That first contact, sudden and unexpected, felt overwhelming in every sense, and Erik wonders if it was a bond that was created just then, or if what he felt in that moment was conclusive evidence that soulmates are a real, tangible concept he'd never entertained before. So, maybe Charles wasn't the only one being excessively romantic and ridiculous.
He rests his hand over Charles's, expression struggling for a moment, nowhere near as certain of that as Charles himself is. He wishes he could be as sure as Charles is of that, but he really doesn't know how it would have all played out. He remembers still how determined he was to get to Shaw, how willing he was to sacrifice anything to kill him. He knows that being any closer to Charles wouldn't have changed his mind on that. The consequences of his own actions might have only become all the more catastrophic after that. He may have only ended up hurting Charles even more.
He's pulled from those thoughts with that last remark, drawing a soft chuckle from him. He tilts his head so he can press a kiss to Charles's palm, then his wrist. ]
I'll hold you to that.
[ Resting that hand back on his cheek, his own fingers trace along Charles's jaw, knuckles brushing against his temple. ]
You know that doesn't actually matter to me.
[ He does like that they're able to have sex, obviously, but Erik wouldn't have been any less serious about this even if they weren't. Them being physically intimate isn't a determining factor on whether or not he stays. ]
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And Charles does feel happy right now. Happier than he has since Erik and Raven left him. Erik can feel it floating from him into his mind, this lightness that has been stifled for so long. He can talk about foolish things like kissing Erik after punching him, or the idea of love at first sight, and while he's making fun of the concept, he also feels it to his core. ]
Your beautiful, beautiful mind.
[ To anyone else it was probably not. There were so many jagged edges and harsh lines, a twisted tense amount of grief and fury wrapped up. It was one of the darkest and saddest minds he'd ever touched, he didn't know a human mind could be that suffering and yet that strong. Erik was in the midst of his fury and despair trying to pull the sub even at the end of his life. But as Charles ran through his mind to understand what he was doing and pull him out, he threaded through Erik's mind like his hands through his hair, he felt through it all.
He'd never gone that deeply into anyone's mind. It was also the way that Erik said he thought he was alone, desperate, broken, and a touch hopeful.]
I wanted to give you everything you never had.
[ Love and hope and beauty and belief. He saw a damaged mind and yes, wanted to fix it, but not the way that he could if he wanted to. He wanted to watch Erik grow and experience on his own. It was a fine line to walk. He is more certain than Erik is that he would not have left him. It was never about killing Shaw. Charles accepted that would happen. He didn't love being a part of it, but he was worried Erik would kill him and then see the emptiness that left in him after. Their break had nothing to do with killing Shaw and everything to do with the humans afterward. But if he could have just given Erik a reason to stay.]
It matters to me.
[ Charles runs his thumb over Erik's lips, his favorite thing to trace them now, to have endess use of them.]
I can live without it and I have, but I don't want to be something broken that can't enjoy everything about a relationship.
[ The sex component is frankly not about Erik. It's Charles' own stubbornness in not denying himself something he deserves because of his limitations. They can obviously work around it and have, and that's what he needed. Symbolically, it's not about whether it matters, per se, but whether he can have everything he needs to be content. And for a serious relationship, that does include sex.]
You know I love feeling you, but you may officially be in the too heavy category now.
[ Charles likes it but they do eventually have to break apart and he can't do it forever. He kisses Erik one more time because he can and hugs him, arms wrapped around to enjoy it through the stickiness, but then releases him.]
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With Charles, he feels all those things. Every time he talks, every time he smiles at him, every single brush of their minds coming together. He doesn't know where Charles's happiness ends and his own begins, but when they're this close, sharing every thought and emotion with one another, it truly doesn't matter. ]
You already have.
[ Even before this, he'd already given Erik more than he thought he'd ever find, but now that is all the truer. To think that he could ever find this pure sort of happiness, even in a place like this. It feels almost a dream. ]
I know. [ And he understands, really. He just doesn't want Charles to think that leaving right now would be easier if they couldn't have sex. What keeps him here right now is a bond that goes much deeper than that. Still, he is obviously glad they get to have this too, and all the more so when he can feel how happy it makes Charles.
He chuckles softly at the gentle accusation, an indirect request for Erik to move. Stealing another kiss, he pushes himself off slowly, rolling onto his side and sinking on the mattress next to Charles. He'll get up to get them cleaned in a moment, but first he's going to prop his weight up on an elbow, admiring the view of his lover lying on the bed like this, still a little flushed and messy and, the best part, covered in Erik's release. ]
You look absolutely enthralling right now.
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He's glad he's with someone who doesn't mind that being with him means being permanently open to his power. Charles could be in a relationship with someone who needed that distance permanently, and he would respect that, but it would be a constant effort to write those lines and stick to them. This is much more natural to him, and with Erik, it's difficult not to go in deep. Not to swim his way through the beautiful mind he fell in love with. ]
I love you, Erik.
[ He's given him all of himself now. It's not about the sex, like Erik wants him to understand, and he does. He never thought that it was sex precisely that would keep them together, it's more about what it symbolizes. Ultimate intimacy. Sex and love and being wrapped up tight in each other. It's true that Erik could have left him and destroyed him more completely, if they'd openly been in love at that point, but Charles is going to keep thinking that's not what would happen.
But he isn't holding it against himself in the past either. They know what did or didn't happen and their reasons for holding back. It gives him more reason to hold on tightly to Erik now. He wants to believe he won't leave him again, that this is something he does get to keep forever.
Charles groans when Erik finally does move off him because he's partially sorry but also partially relieved because the pressure moves off him. He can breathe a little easier even if he didn't mind it before. He smiles up at Erik when he looks at him with such admiration. It feeds his ego, which to be fair has been bruised up until now, so he is devouring it.]
Because you enjoy claiming me as much as I enjoy being claimed.
[ That is what being covered in Erik feels like to him, that he's smelling and tasting of Erik. Charles admires his body openly, Erik truly is a gorgeous man. His hand moves over his chest and purposely picks off some of the stick that Erik ended up on him too when he kept close. Charles lifts it to his mouth to lick it off his finger.]
It was one of my ongoing fantasies about you. I'm happy to say the reality is far better.
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Those words sink warmly into him, though they're nothing Erik doesn't know, when he can feel them even in the presence of Charles's mind in his own. To be fair, Charles's feelings for him have been made rather obvious and very much clear even before tonight, but to hear the words said out loud still carries a different weight, making Erik's heart beat quicker, and his smile soften. He watches Charles like he can't bear to tear his eyes from him, resting a hand on Charles's side, slowly trailing his way higher. ]
Though I'm sure you know all too well that you're mine, I fully intend to remind you at every opportunity.
[ By telling him, claiming him, having him just like this time and again. Charles definitely won't be lacking reminders.
Reaching his shoulder, Erik's fingers trace then over his arm, a low hum while he watches Charles lick the taste of Erik's release off his own fingertips. Damn him, he's going to drive Erik to madness at this rate. He grips Charles by the wrist, tipping his head to press his mouth over the pulse point, kissing his palm and fingers, then easing his hold so he can press their hands, palm to palm, weaving their fingers together as he leans down to kiss Charles again.
It seems that it's going to be a challenge for the both of them, finding some way not to constantly be kissing each other. ]
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Loving each other is the easy part now. Charles sees that particular look in Erik's eyes, the one that says he can't bear to look away from him, and it's deeply satisfying. He wants his eyes on him, constantly. He'll settle for nothing less than mutual obsession. He smiles smugly at him, letting Erik's fingers trace over his body as much as he likes.]
Good. Maybe next time instead of swallowing I'll let you come on my face. You can claim me everywhere.
[ He planned on tempting him with a little sucking of his finger, his words already very dirty, but Erik holds his hand instead and his heart melts. He leans up into the kiss and sighs into it, thinking their lips are going to eventually start becoming swollen if they can't stop. Charles isn't even sorry. He licks his way into Erik's mouth and runs his hand down his side, curving on his ass to hold it possessively.]
I need all of this I can get, I'm not much of a public display person, so we're clear. I just ... like some things to be private.
[ This isn't about the X-Men specifically, Charles is a bit too proper to be tonguing his boyfriend where everyone can watch him.]
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I think I can live with that.
[ Said with a soft, amused little smile. Personally Erik rather likes some public gestures of affection (definitely not having tongues shoved down each other's throats, though, that's a bit much even for him), but it's not something he's that set on. Hardly a struggle to agree to a limit that makes Charles more comfortable. Not that it matters at this juncture, as they're still keeping this relationship between them.
His smile sharpens a hint, hips shifting on the bed, a pleased hum while Charles hold his ass. ]
I might come twice just from seeing you a mess, my release dripping down your cheeks. Lord, Charles, you'll drive me mad yet, I swear.
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Hand-holding or a kiss on the cheek is fine, once we're public. Interesting that I'm picking up no active homophobia here, so us being men wouldn't matter.
[ Those are barely public displays of affection in his mind. Charles was very affectionate with Raven but she was his sister, but he has no problem with more platonic-level touches around others. He hasn't internalized any homophobia but he would be more careful if that was a problem around here. Charles doesn't like fighting battles that he finds exhausting rather than fruitful. In this case, they don't have to worry about it. Very different from their era, in the best sense.
Charles gripped onto his ass when they were in the moment to pull him but now he's simply enjoying the shape and curve of it in his hand. A very nice one. He pats it gently.]
To be honest, this is why we couldn't have had sex earlier. We'd get absolutely nothing else done.
[ They had mutants to recruit, a team to create, training to do, and then eventually Shaw. And the two of them would have ended up lying in bed like right now, thinking of nothing but each other. Charles would come up with all kinds of reasons why they could spend another day in bed instead of in the car, or sneaking Erik into his room at the mansion. This is already so bloody consuming and it's been two orgasms.]
I spent so much time picturing you naked, and now I can look my fill.
[ Charles does exactly that. He drops his gaze from Erik's equally handsome face to trail down his shoulders and arms, his chest and stomach somewhat painted with his own come, and down to his soft but still deliciously large cock. It is shameless the way he's admiring him. Finally his oogling moves his gaze back to Erik's eyes, smiling at him in the exact way he used to, in order to get Erik to grin at him. ]
You should probably go get something to clean us off or I'm just going to seduce you again.
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But he supposes it is nice that he can smile at Charles or hold his hand without some bigot asking to get their nose broken. And that's if Erik was feeling lenient, honestly.
To the next remark, Erik laughs. ]
Yes, I fear that all our plans may have fallen by the wayside.
[ Up to and including his goal of killing Shaw. He's almost sure that Charles would derail him from every other coherent thought if he'd been in his bed every night like he is now. Erik's already struggling to want to do literally anything else but lie here with him.
Charles is more than welcome to ogle, get his fill of it and make up for the time lost. Erik hasn't stopped gazing at Charles either, a fond and amused smile when he can feel exactly where Charles's eyes are fixed at any given moment. ]
That... [ He pulls Charles's hand close to him, pressing a kiss to his knuckles. ] Might just be a good idea.
[ Letting go before he gives into the temptation to kiss Charles yet again, he climbs out of bed and heads into the bathroom. And maybe he walks purposefully slowly so Charles can enjoy the view from behind— he's welcome. ]
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Erik laughing is beautiful to behold. Before they met he's fairly certain Erik's laughs were minimal if ever existing at all, and then together he always managed to get a smile out of him when he wanted to. But laughs are still rare enough to be treasured. It's true that they probably would have gotten very distracted from their goals if they were making love every day. They'll have to get out of this bed eventually too, but it's not a concern for now.
Charles almost persuades him to come down for a kiss instead and then distracted him all over again, but he smiles and lets him go. And not in small part because his eyes immediately are glued to Erik's ass and staring at him walk away. He whistles very deliberately as he checks him out, trying to get him to laugh again.
But damn is he sexy. Charles admires the whole length of him, from his shoulders down to his thighs and up again. Gorgeous. He's so in love with him. Charles takes the time to push himself up a little more on the bed. He can move himself well, he has good arms, and he sits with his back against the bed frame for now. He makes certain not to spill any of Erik on the bed and to keep it securely on his body, both for cleanliness and because it's his and he's possessive.]
Bring back water too, if you don't mind.
[ They've worked up a sweat, to say the least. Charles is thirsty in more than one way.]
And walk back in just as slowly. I want to oogle you in an offensive way.
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He disappears from view as he goes into the bathroom, though he tries not to take too long. He does quick work of cleaning himself with a damp towel, getting two others ready to take with him back to Charles. He doesn't bother drying himself completely but he'd rather make sure Charles is as comfortable as possible, so one to clean him and another to dry him off.
At Charles's request, he walks back out at a leisurely pace, lingering under the door frame for a few seconds, admiring Charles just as much as he's being watched himself. He does eventually move, quick detour to the table so he can fill a glass with water, then brings it to the bed, sitting by the edge of the mattress as he hands it to Charles. ]
Best not ogle too much, I'm not letting you seduce me again just yet. I fully intend to still cook you dinner tonight.
[ He must be hungry right now, despite the fact that tonight's events have taken a rather unexpected turn. It just seems a good idea to actually see to their basic needs for however long they manage to keep their hands off each other. ]
Hands away.
[ He sets the dry towel down on the bed, then with the damp one starts wiping the mess on Charles's stomach and chest. The amount of it almost surprises Erik, but for the most part he's just mesmerized by the sight, pale smooth skin marked by his release. Part of him almost wants to leave it just as it is, an impractical fantasy that really isn't even necessary when he knows that Charles belongs to him as completely as he does Charles.
His gaze flickers to Charles's face, smiling faintly. The thoughts in his mind right now undoubtedly not a secret to him, he may as well be an open book at the moment. ]
we can probably finally wrap on this one and do a new event one :D
nooo-- i mean yes, that sounds good!!