[ He can guess how long it's been since Charles ate, and he doesn't intend to let him go much longer on an empty stomach. Maybe not right away, he's rather enjoying their current position right now a little too much to want to move, but eventually he'll get back to that.
He smiles faintly when Charles brushes a thumb over his lips, his own hand moving to his back, tracing up his spine. ]
Not at all. It wasn't why I asked.
[ He understands this is more complicated for Charles than it is for him. That there are X-Men here, living in very much close proximity to them. Maybe it's an exaggerated concern that they should come knocking on Charles's door only not to find him there, but he wouldn't be surprised if it was a worry weighing on his mind right now.
Well, at least none of them are going to come to Erik's room, so at least there's that. He's content enough with the answer, palm pressing between Charles's shoulder blades, holding him close as he leans in and brushes their noses together, kisses Charles's cheek. Lord, he is, he really is his. He could stay forever and Erik would have absolutely no objections to it. ]
[ It's true Charles forgot to eat and he is hungry but he is willing to wait longer so they can linger with each other. He doesn't want to break this moment yet. He looks into Erik's beloved eyes, his handsome face, leaning in to kiss him. It's a novelty he's just gotten and he is so happy about it. Whatever negative feelings he had, they won't forever stay away, but for right now, Charles is letting himself have it.]
Ah, yes, I see.
[ Their minds are still very closely wound together and Charles loosens up on that, he withdraws to a reasonable level so Erik doesn't have to worry about every single thought being bled over. He didn't fully consider the reality of the situation until now because it only just happened, but they are living in close quarters, and he is not in any way ready to talk about this with other people.
He caresses his fingers over Erik's strong arm and then up along his chest, resting his hand over Erik's heart to feel his heartbeat. He might have withdrawn their minds so he could think too, not that it would change anything about this.]
I'd like to keep this private for now. I know when I can leave without any prying eyes.
[ He knows where all the familiar minds are around him. It's easy.]
[ He wasn't planning on moving right this moment, if anything he finds it difficult to even make himself think about moving again. Just being this close to Charles, feeling the touch of skin on skin, lips soft and warm against his own. He would probably be content to just lie here for the rest of the evening, get by on the cheapest possible snacks he has at hand.
It is a strange feeling, in a way, when Charles withdraws from his mind. Not entirely, but enough for Erik to notice, and to need a moment to readjust. There's something funny in the fact that Erik's the one already overthinking and worrying about the complications while Charles didn't seem to even consider them completely until just now, especially when it affects Charles more closely than it does Erik.
His hand moves from Charles's back, fingertips ghosting down the length of his arm, brushing against the back of his hand where it rests over Erik's heart. ]
Well, I can't say it's my favorite thing. [ Well he's honest, if nothing else. Not that he would have reason to lie now, of all times. ] But I understand.
[ Personally Erik couldn't give less of a shit about who knows, but he's well aware of why that's different for Charles. He would also prefer avoiding needless tension and confrontations, which would no doubt roll down his way as soon as some of the mutants here learned about them, so yes. Keeping this private is the smart, sensible choice. ]
[ Charles hasn't given it thought because he's so used to them not talking about it and it passing them by to treat it as a concrete option. They were always one or two steps away from giving into this though so perhaps his overthinking mind should have jumped here, but that goes to show how used he was to brushing off the concept of them. Not out of desire, he is here, he wants it, there is no doubt with how close he is to Erik, but necessity. ]
I just would like us to know what we're doing here and settle in before other opinions enter the mix.
[ Sex itself is not ultimately that complicated even with the limitations, but everything surrounding it can be. And Charles is not ready to look Scott or Logan in the eye and tell them his feelings on this matter. Because it's complicated. He also told them Erik dropped a stadium on him, so the two truths are difficult to explain on the same breath.
He would have wanted this to be private if they got together in the past too. Not only because he prefers it that way, but due to the time they were in where two men together would have been a problem. Clearly neither of them have any questions regarding their sexual desires so that was never a concern for them, but he was not of the mindset to shout off a rooftop in this situation.
Charles kisses him long and lingering because he's allowed to now and he's stared at his lips wanting this, even when they were fighting. On the plane after their fight his eyes traveled there without his permission as they played chess. It's embarrassing at this point how down he is.]
We don't need to have the relationship talk, do we? I think we know what we want.
[ To be fair, Charles has always been the more reasonable of the two. Erik would fight for his right to exist publicly in a relationship with another man just as he would fight for mutant rights. Any discrimination would feel unacceptable to him, and he's always been unafraid to be who he is for anyone else to see. Even if it got him arrested, labeled a terrorist, chased across the world—
Let's just say it's a good thing that Charles is more reasonable. Erik would know the consequences and still not give a damn.
He leans back in, presses into that kiss, soft and lingering, thumb brushing over Charles's knuckles. In this moment, he can't possibly imagine ever tiring of this.
When he pulls away, meeting Charles's gaze, he very nearly chuckles at that question. No, they definitely don't need to have that talk (he doesn't feel that need, at least), but if Charles asks, then perhaps there is a part of him that needs it. So, he takes a slow breath, squeezes the hand in his, and keeps his gaze locked with Charles's when he speaks again, a touch softer now. ]
I love you, Charles. Despite my mistakes, my faults, my temper— you are... everything I could possibly need, here.
[ He could make it even worse, say that Charles completes him in ways that he wasn't even aware he was lacking, that he balances him, that he's shone a light in the deepest cracks in his heart. But maybe that's just sappy enough for right now. ]
[ Charles is too cautious for that. The secrecy then would have been more about the world at large than personal connections though, he didn't think any of their team would have cared (or been surprised!) at the two of them. In this case it seems more likely individuals would be upset rather than the whole, he's been here long enough to notice a lot of the same prejudices from their time don't seem to matter as much. It's not only the presence of supernaturals being shrugged off, it's anything that might have gotten negative attention for being othered. So that's one good thing he'll give this place.
And this is another one. The two of them have the freedom to be together without all the reasons back home holding them back. Charles would have felt differently about trusting Erik if he hadn't so sincerely tried to prove he had changed, but he does believe him.
His eyebrows raise at the love confession and he isn't surprised, they know exactly how they feel about each other, it's just that for some reason, Charles never expected to hear it out loud. They've shared it in such a personal way, but he finds that his heart beats a little faster. He likes hearing it. He smiles and takes Erik's hand, bringing it to his lips.]
I remember the exact moment I fell in love with you.
[ Charles smiles and presses Erik's hand to his cheek.]
It was when you decided to stay and insisted we find the mutants alone. Together. I looked at you and I could see all that we might become.
[ That is why Charles gives Erik a lot of credit involving the beginning of the X-Men. It was a joint effort. Erik was a part of it, he helped more than he thought, and also focused Charles's mind. He wouldn't have thought to push the CIA out of his journey because he was eager to get started, but Erik was right about that.]
And then I spent a torturous amount of time on the road falling deeper in love with you with every day. Horrible.
[ Charles laughs and snuggles in closer, leaning their foreheads against each other, content to be in Erik's embrace. They knew they loved each other but the details he hasn't mentioned before. It was never only about lust with Erik, although he had plenty of that. He adored him, his most beloved. His gaze becomes more serious.]
Please, promise me you won't let the worst get the better of you, Erik. I can't survive another heartache like that.
[ He doesn't need to say it aloud, and he's well aware of that. They've already expressed it in ways much deeper and more encompassing than words ever could, and if he thought he knew Charles's feelings before, then the time he poured all of their memories back into Erik's mind while he found pieces of him stolen away by that mannequin made him completely sure of it.
But he wants to say it. He wants to express it in as many ways as he can, and words are one of those ways. It's all the more worth it when he sees that glimmer in Charles's gaze, the smile that takes over his features. Erik doesn't have a hand resting over his heart but he is sure that he can feel the quicker beating of his heart, too. ]
You saw more than I ever did.
[ He was so blinded by grief, by rage, the desire to see his goals through. He can't even say the precise moment that he realised how he felt because he so often contained it so it wouldn't change his mind on his plans. He was going to kill Shaw, that was all it mattered until it wasn't, until Charles mattered, until a better future mattered, and all of it came crashing down at once.
Charles laughs but Erik still feels a bitter taste at the back of his throat. There's always going to be some regret for the time wasted, and the hurt caused, and how willing he was to just leave all of that behind. What a fucking fool he is.
His eyes close, and he nods gently, his forehead still pressed against Charles's. He cups his cheek, moving until he can weave his fingers through Charles's hair. ]
I promise you.
[ With every fiber of his being, he wants to believe that he can keep that promise. ]
[ Charles has only loved one person and so everything they do is technically new to him. He didn't think he cared one way or another to hear the words when they shared so much more than that, but it turns out it was quite nice. Perhaps he needs more reassurance than he expected. Their love is old but in action it's new.
He feels a twist in him too, at the idea of losing what they gained, at a fear of abandonment coming across him again. He breathes through it. It was one of the things holding him back, and it won't here, but he knows that emotions are complicated. And that is why he just feels things and moves past them. Here in Erik's arms, he wants nothing to tie him away from it.]
I saw you, Erik. You were at your best with us. It's not gone.
[ Erik let his anger and pain get the better of him, which is understandable given the trauma he went through to get there. Perhaps if they had more time, and frankly, now that they've had this, Charles may have been right. This could have changed things ... or made it so much worse. Either way, Erik has the chance again. A life free from Shaw and with Charles in his bed. Charles has high hopes for him. For them.
He nuzzles Erik's nose with his own, breathing him in. This intimacy is unknown to him but it's what he longed for more than simply sex. It was never about sex with Erik ... although obviously he is very pleased to have it. He thinks of the pain that separated them and caresses Erik's cheek.]
Don't leave me again. If this place takes you like Raven, so be it, but not by choice. Come back to me. Every day be mine.
[ Erik had been alone for most of his life, he never really knew what it was to rely on anyone, and in many ways he never truly got it right, even after meeting Charles, after they formed the first class. Trying to hold onto something that he didn't know how to keep or cherish back then was a nigh impossible task, and one he failed quite monumentally.
Repercussions from that still linger, even as he feels Charles's trust in him repaired to some degree. He can still sense that worry in him, the fear of losing him again. Losing this. Maybe only time will make that fear go away. Erik knows he's doing what he can to mend that, so he can only hope that time is the answer. ]
I'm right here. [ He brushes his thumb over Charles's cheek, keeping their gazes locked. Not that Charles needs it to look into Erik's mind right now and see that he means that genuinely, but it makes him feel like they're closer. Like their souls touch. ] God, Charles, I have always been yours. I will come back to you always.
[ So long as it's within his power, but he would much rather not think of the alternative. Of being taken away from this place, or Charles to be the one disappearing. ]
[ Charles was never alone with Raven so he was lucky that way, and he knew it. While he didn't make a lot of friends outside of her, they had each other, and he has no idea what his life would be like without her. Or at least he didn't, until he had to, but to be fair, he still had Hank then. He's never truly been alone and he knows that Erik has been.
All the hope in the world can't fully push away trauma and while Charles has come a long way, the loss of Erik and Raven and his legs wasn't a simple one to get past. He tries but some part of him will hold onto that pain and he wants to push forward. He is doing so by grasping onto this all of him. But just as he finds he didn't mind hearing Erik say he loves him out loud, it turns out hearing his reassurance also helps.
Charles's eyes water as he looks back at Erik and that love he feels is both beautiful and painful. Fear is no small part of him right now but he isn't letting it stop him. ]
I know we shouldn't look backward, but I'm just so angry at all the foolish mistakes we made. [ Not only Erik. Charles is including himself, he is far from perfect.] We wasted so much time. [ Little does he know that is a regret their future selves held too, at the end.]
[ They both know that this won't be easy. None of it will be, really. There's too much history, too much hurt for things to magically be fixed simply because they've taken this step in their relationship. It is wonderful, and possibly as happy as Erik could hope to be in this moment, but there will still be so much for them to work through. Charles especially had to go through so much in the past ten years. This can't just make things right overnight.
But they have one another, and facing all of this together will still be better than having to do it all on their own. Maybe back in their world, they would have to do so. Charles back at the mansion, Erik hiding under another identity. Who knows if they would have ever even seen each other again. But here they have each other to rely on, it already makes things infinitely better. ]
Don't think that way. [ Don't cry, please. That very nearly makes Erik's eyes fill with tears too, sucking in a breath. ] Just think of the time we have ahead. All of the things we can have now.
[ Erik has never been one to look back with that kind of regret. They can't go back and change how everything went down, but they can learn from it, make it all different. He doesn't like to think of it as time wasted, when to him every minute he gets to have with Charles will always feel like a precious gift. ]
[ If Charles tried to brush off all his feelings, it would only stay inside him making him sick until it came out in another way. He did that for a decade and it became poison in him, getting worse as his obsession with blocking his powers kept him from himself. Being genuinely happy in this moment with Erik does remind him of how unhappy he was before, and it causes regret.
He just doesn't want to hurt anymore. He knows he's not the only one, that Erik has hurt too, but it did lay over his shoulders for years, making him less of the man he was. Charles has come a long way since coming here, but he's not recovered fully. And this may help with that, because it is giving something he thought he had to live without.
He smiles weakly at Erik and lets out a watery laugh.]
Look at you, being the optimist.
[ The one who apparently can see the time they have ahead and everything they can do together, rather than Charles who is dragging his heels in the past. In a way they've swapped positions, with Erik before having been so dragged down by Shaw and his past, and Charles always excited about what comes next.]
I love you, Erik.
[ He pulls Erik into a deep kiss the seal the way he feels and shares it between their bond, the brightness of his love mixed with the pain he feels, but can overcome. His arm slides around Erik's neck, fingers into his hair, as he kisses him like the first time.]
[ Erik knows a thing or two about brushing unpleasant feelings aside, or worse yet trying to bury them, and it's definitely not the best course of action either. It's important that Charles does deal with those feelings, and that he knows he can reach out and rely on Erik for it; he just doesn't want to be all that Charles will focus on, or for all their moments shared together to turn bittersweet by thinking of all that they could have had. They have this now, and that matters.
His own smile is warmer, immensely fond, a soft hum escaping him. ]
Maybe you've rubbed off on me.
[ But it is good, the reversal. They work because they're similar in some things, and opposite in others, and it all balances out. So if Charles is struggling now, he can certainly be the voice of optimism, seeing a brighter path ahead for them both. Hold onto hope, rather than the past.
Much like Charles, he wouldn't need to hear those words said aloud, but his heard skips nonetheless at hearing them, gaze bright and warm, love spilling from every crease in his smile. He tips his head down to return the kiss with equal love and tenderness, his arm winding fully around Charles's waist to bring him up and closer to him. ]
[ It only takes a few moments before Charles turns on a dime and ends up laughing in Erik's mind.]
I certainly did, didn't I?
[ How can he resist making a dirty joke when they're (mostly) naked in bed together? It's also to signal that he's going to attempt to leave his melancholy behind. It's still there but Charles would rather keep kissing him at the moment, sliding into his mind once again to share his warmth and affection.
He lets Erik tug him close and since he's in his mind he decides that he doesn't like the feeling of fabric against Erik's bare body. He wants skin to skin and while he hesitated before because of his own insecurities, it's really a pointless endeavor. He's not going to bend on the carrying any time soon but Charles can make some concessions.]
Help me take off my pants, will you, love?
[ Unfortunately they have to stop kissing to do that but it'll be rewarding afterward. Charles still feels strange about it but he undoes them. He can't exactly help finagle them off him with a shimmy of his hips or anything given the situation so he'll let Erik handle it.]
[ Erik breathes a chuckle into the kiss. He probably shouldn't be that surprised that Charles latches onto that and turns it into a dirty joke. ]
Incorrigible.
[ He sounds fond, even in his own mind, comfortable with Charles's presence in there again. He pulls from the kiss, for a moment surprised by the request, if only because he didn't quite expect Charles to change his mind on that tonight. Far be it from him to complain, however.
With a quick peck to his nose, Erik pulls away so he can kneel on the bed, next to Charles. Trying to do this while lying down was only going to make it awkward and that much more difficult, but like this he's able to get his hands on the waistband and properly tug them down Charles's legs, adjusting him as needed so they come out smoothly. The underwear is far easier to rid of, but he still gives Charles a glance, just to be sure that he is comfortable before he gets that off of him too.
He leans down to press a kiss to Charles's stomach, pushing both items of clothing to the foot of the bed. He takes a moment just to look at Charles before he moves on the bed again to lie down beside him, still searching his eyes. ]
[ Charles feels uneasy about it but there really is no difference between doing it now and later. Eventually Erik will see him naked and he'll have to live with that. There's nothing wrong with him, ordinarily he's a very good-looking man regardless, his body is skinny but well-made. If he had use of his legs, he would be confident in how he looks. It's his own issues coming into play. He is tense but Erik manages to make it less uncomfortable than it would be if he attempted to do it himself.
He lets out a breath he was holding when it's over and Erik's lips touch his stomach, letting his fingers tangle into his hair lightly when he does. Their minds are intertwined enough that Erik can probably note the variety of feelings coming from Charles right then are a complicated mix.
He turns toward Erik and pulls him close again so they're right up against each other. He can't feel it but through Erik he is pleased at the sensation of skin against skin, so it was worth it. It feels much more complete this way, so there is a touch of satisfaction felt from him after that. ]
My own hangups.
[ Charles admits without brushing it off. They both know that's the problem here. ]
This would be a very good time for you to say something flattering.
[ Yes, he knows. It's the reason why he even asked in the first place, rather than just leap to showering Charles with compliments when he might be struggling with this. Maybe he shouldn't be so surprised that Charles so promptly asks for flattery, and he lets out a soft chuckle, his knee brushing gently against Charles's leg. He may not feel it the conventional way, but he can through Erik, and he personally loves the direct skin contact regardless. ]
Now I feel rather put on the spot.
[ Not that it seems a deterrent, the words said more with a touch of amusement than anything else. ]
You're absolutely perfect. [ He tips his head down to brush his lips over Charles's, his own bias clearly coloring those words, but he doesn't give a damn. ] The most beautiful creature I've ever laid my eyes on.
[ It's not that he's unaware or doesn't understand what Charles struggles with, with his disability. But to him, it truly doesn't matter. When he looks at Charles it's not the disability he sees, he just sees the gorgeous man he adores, and the beautiful body he's wanted to see bare and pressed against his own for so long. It doesn't matter if intimacy looks different to them. It doesn't feel incomplete, if anything it's all the more intense when he can feel Charles's own mind in his. Couldn't possibly get closer than that. ]
[ Charles can't deny that it does feel good being in Erik's mind and adding that extra layer of intimacy so there's nothing between them now that they're cuddled close. He used to dream of being in Erik's warm embrace like this and it's imperfect but it's better than a fantasy because it's real. He is not usually an insecure person but he has his issues like anyone else and occasionally a little ego stroking would go a long way.
He laughs and doesn't argue about how he obviously is far from perfect, because he's going to soak in the compliment regardless. Erik can't lie to him when in his head like this so he is very satisfied with what he hears. It goes both ways, he too thinks Erik is a perfect male specimen in terms of physical attractiveness. He's been obsessed with him since they met. He's told him how gorgeous he is.]
And you want me more than anyone in the world.
[ Charles prompts with a grin and he lays on his back, tugging Erik to try and persuade him to slide on top of him. He explains in his head he just wants to feel the weight on him, he's thought about it before. He wants to feel through Erik's mind all of them rubbing up against each other from top to bottom. He slides his hands up Erik's chest to hook them around his neck.]
[ Nothing truly is perfect so maybe it's an unfair standard to hold anything to. It's as close as it gets, to him. It's different than they could have had but it's not lessened for it, it's still him and Charles and that is all that Erik really needs for it to feel perfect. Some things are just that simple, to him.
The following statements get a soft laugh from him, and he lets Charles direct him to where he wants him, still adjusting a little before he's shifting to settle on top of Charles, hip to hip, elbows sinking to the mattress to at least keep his upper weight propped up. ]
At this point your ego's going to swell up enough that we won't get it past that door.
[ But he doesn't deny Charles that. Can't, when it makes him smile like that, when it makes him look this happy. He leans down for a soft kiss, lingering, lips still hovering close while he adds. ]
I do want you more than anyone. [ Another kiss. ] And I've loved you before I even realised it. [ His tongue darts out, tasting Charles's lips. ] And you feel so damn good against me right now.
[ Charles is delighted when Erik's weight is on top of him like that, exactly as he wanted it to be. He used to imagine Erik on him and how it would feel, although granted that was when he would also picture him inside at the same time. But this is satisfying too and he runs his fingers over Erik's back and then down his strong arms where he's propped up.]
Good, that's how it should be when I leave your bed.
[ He should have his ego filled to the brim with the attention and adoration he's fed when they're like this. That's how Charles feels about it at least, he thinks he can't get enough of Erik's affection. He does look happy, a stark contrast to when he was making himself sad before, and he kisses Erik back, smiling the whole time.]
I do, don't I?
[ It turns out it was well worth getting past his ego on this issue. He tilts his head back, running his nails lightly up Erik's chest to tangle one hand in his hair lightly.]
Kiss my neck. I might not feel anything below my waist but I can feel everything above.
[ Charles has zero trouble with telling Erik exactly what he should be doing. He doesn't think Erik will argue with his bossiness. He wants to get showered in Erik's appreciation and his body is quite sensitive everywhere that can be felt. He hasn't gotten any attention for all this time, he could enjoy a little more of that.]
You are the sexiest person I've ever seen. My beautiful Erik.
[ Well, evidently Erik has no real issue with giving Charles what he wants, as much as he teases him when he asks for it. Somehow he doesn't find it surprising just how much Charles soaks up this kind of attention, and Erik is finding that he absolutely doesn't mind showering him with it. He's going to make a mental note to do it more often, even without Charles's requesting it each and every time.
Charles won't need to ask him to touch him either, physical contact being something Erik likes rather a lot with him. More and more, he's finding, and he can certainly touch every bit of skin where Charles can feel it. He would even touch more, frankly, but that would be more for himself than anything, and he wants Charles to feel good above all else.
He shifts his weight just so, weight propped on just one elbow, freeing his other hand to brush through Charles's hair. He coaxes him to tip his head back, then dips down to latch his lips onto his neck, kissing as much as licking, a light, playful drag of teeth against skin. His hand continues on a path of its own, thumb tracing down Charles's throat, palm brushing over a pectoral, fingers hooked under his armpit before skimming as low as Charles can feel it, then back up, tracing over his stomach. ]
You taste so good, [ He murmurs against Charles's skin. Even off the road and not having had time to shower, Erik doesn't care. He could get hooked on the taste and feeling of Charles's skin against his tongue. ] I'll kiss you anywhere you want.
[ Charles was a bit of a player because he likes attention as much as he likes sex. It's an ego thing, yes, but also a reflection of how he feels about the world too. He finds people fascinating and he's attracted to them, even in a platonic way, he likes to get to know them and find what makes them tick. The truth is though once he met Erik, he specifically was the person Charles was desperate for attention from. He practically was begging for it whenever they were in the same room, wanting his eyes, his focus. He wanted it because that's how he felt about Erik with his eyes and his focus following him, thirsting for more of him. It's a fixation, one he gets to have now.
Charles tips his head back as requested and shivers at the first touch on his skin, the sensation rippling through him. He hasn't been touched in so long. He could spend hours in someone's bed just soaking in their hands and lips in the past, and he's getting a taste for that again. The teeth on his skin gets a soft moan and he threads fingers in Erik's hair. He lets him do whatever he wants, basking in it.]
No I don't. [ Charles chuckles.] I didn't shower, I didn't think I'd be naked with you today.
[ He probably doesn't smell that badly; enough that it's clear he was on the road for awhile before giving up and coming back. Charles is fastidious otherwise, he likes to be clean and proper. His wipe off before coming here was likely better than anyone else would do, it's just not what he would want going into someone's bed. Alas, no turning it back now.]
Nipples, Erik. Gently at first, they're sensitive.
[ They are the part of him most obviously stimulated by their intimacy and sexual exploration. Charles would rather Erik get there on his own but maybe he's eager to feel those lips close in on them. He's in Erik's mind, sharing his thrill.]
[ He's very welcome to pick back up where he left off in obsessing over Erik now, he's certainly not complaining. There's every chance that Erik will be doing the same, especially now that they've opened up to one another fully, and chosen to take this step in their relationship. They are both the kind of people who like having a purpose, goals to work towards, but at the moment Erik is very content in pouring all his heart and soul into loving Charles completely. ]
Shut up, [ He mutters fondly, chuckling against Charles's neck. ] I like what I like.
[ In all fairness he would find the scent of him intoxicating either way. It would take a lot for him to think otherwise, and Charles would never let himself get to such a point, really. There's just something different in the scent that comes from the sweat of his day out on the road, and it's definitely not a bad smell. Erik likes it, he'll not take further arguments.
Teeth brush over Charles's neck one last time, then he draws his lips away, shooting Charles a far too amused glance at the demanding tone in his voice. He wiggles a little further down on the bed, humming at the friction against Charles and the bed beneath them, pressing light kisses on the way down until he can reach Charles's nipples. His tongue drags carefully over one of them, wetting the flesh, immediately followed by him blowing a breath against it. ]
Mmmhm, and you like being told what to do, don't you? By me, at least.
[ Charles clocked that right away given how quickly Erik seems to give into every one of his demands with enthusiasm. It's why he doesn't mind being bossy because it seems to be something Erik enjoy, whether it's because it turns him on, or he likes Charles getting what he wants. Maybe all of the above. He knows that Erik does not like being ordered around by anyone else though, which does make it a little hot that it's Charles-specific. And not surprising, given their dynamic, and their past.
Charles likes it too, especially because it's Erik, and it has that ego boost. He keps brushing his fingers through Erik's hair in a comfortable almost pet, enjoying the lasting touch of the teeth on his skin. He can still feel Erik's lips lingering behind as he moves. Some people might lose sensation after a few moments, for Charles this is everything that he can feel, so it stays.
He licks his lips in anticipation and this is essentially as much going down on him as Erik can do, so it still gives him a thrill. Sensitive is saying the least. Charles moans and arches his back a little into it, mixing his pleasure into Erik's mind so he knows he likes it. ]
Just like that, love. [ He murmurs, one hand in his hair and the other on his shoulder.] I used to picture you on your knees.
[ Erik doesn't respond right away, but at this point it's futile to deny it, when he seems all too eager to do whatever Charles tells him to. Feeding that ego really might be a dangerous game here, but that Erik's keen to please Charles and make him happy in the ways that he can is undeniable at this point. ]
That depends on what you tell me to do. You are rather bossy, you know.
[ Said with a smirk, as he looks up to meet Charles's gaze. He finds it rather amusing, and undeniably arousing. Maybe that's part of why he's so quick to do as told.
Just giving Charles this kind of attention is already exciting, but the sounds Charles makes, the pleasure that he spills into Erik's mind, it serves to further fuel his arousal, and he lets out a low, heated hum of his own, not letting up. His hips shift, his position not really ideal for him to reach down and touch himself but he seeks the friction of the bed instead, idle relief while his attention is almost entirely on Charles. He drags his tongue over the same nipple again, then latches his lips there, still gentle but more pressing than the light touch from before. He breaks away so he can speak again, though his lips still ghost against sensitive skin, his thumb brushing idly over the so-far ignored nipple. ]
I do remember a conversation about me prostrating myself at your feet. Is that what you were imagining, then?
[ It definitely was what Erik was picturing. His mind sure went places during that little exchange. ]
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[ He can guess how long it's been since Charles ate, and he doesn't intend to let him go much longer on an empty stomach. Maybe not right away, he's rather enjoying their current position right now a little too much to want to move, but eventually he'll get back to that.
He smiles faintly when Charles brushes a thumb over his lips, his own hand moving to his back, tracing up his spine. ]
Not at all. It wasn't why I asked.
[ He understands this is more complicated for Charles than it is for him. That there are X-Men here, living in very much close proximity to them. Maybe it's an exaggerated concern that they should come knocking on Charles's door only not to find him there, but he wouldn't be surprised if it was a worry weighing on his mind right now.
Well, at least none of them are going to come to Erik's room, so at least there's that. He's content enough with the answer, palm pressing between Charles's shoulder blades, holding him close as he leans in and brushes their noses together, kisses Charles's cheek. Lord, he is, he really is his. He could stay forever and Erik would have absolutely no objections to it. ]
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[ It's true Charles forgot to eat and he is hungry but he is willing to wait longer so they can linger with each other. He doesn't want to break this moment yet. He looks into Erik's beloved eyes, his handsome face, leaning in to kiss him. It's a novelty he's just gotten and he is so happy about it. Whatever negative feelings he had, they won't forever stay away, but for right now, Charles is letting himself have it.]
Ah, yes, I see.
[ Their minds are still very closely wound together and Charles loosens up on that, he withdraws to a reasonable level so Erik doesn't have to worry about every single thought being bled over. He didn't fully consider the reality of the situation until now because it only just happened, but they are living in close quarters, and he is not in any way ready to talk about this with other people.
He caresses his fingers over Erik's strong arm and then up along his chest, resting his hand over Erik's heart to feel his heartbeat. He might have withdrawn their minds so he could think too, not that it would change anything about this.]
I'd like to keep this private for now. I know when I can leave without any prying eyes.
[ He knows where all the familiar minds are around him. It's easy.]
You don't mind, do you?
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It is a strange feeling, in a way, when Charles withdraws from his mind. Not entirely, but enough for Erik to notice, and to need a moment to readjust. There's something funny in the fact that Erik's the one already overthinking and worrying about the complications while Charles didn't seem to even consider them completely until just now, especially when it affects Charles more closely than it does Erik.
His hand moves from Charles's back, fingertips ghosting down the length of his arm, brushing against the back of his hand where it rests over Erik's heart. ]
Well, I can't say it's my favorite thing. [ Well he's honest, if nothing else. Not that he would have reason to lie now, of all times. ] But I understand.
[ Personally Erik couldn't give less of a shit about who knows, but he's well aware of why that's different for Charles. He would also prefer avoiding needless tension and confrontations, which would no doubt roll down his way as soon as some of the mutants here learned about them, so yes. Keeping this private is the smart, sensible choice. ]
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I just would like us to know what we're doing here and settle in before other opinions enter the mix.
[ Sex itself is not ultimately that complicated even with the limitations, but everything surrounding it can be. And Charles is not ready to look Scott or Logan in the eye and tell them his feelings on this matter. Because it's complicated. He also told them Erik dropped a stadium on him, so the two truths are difficult to explain on the same breath.
He would have wanted this to be private if they got together in the past too. Not only because he prefers it that way, but due to the time they were in where two men together would have been a problem. Clearly neither of them have any questions regarding their sexual desires so that was never a concern for them, but he was not of the mindset to shout off a rooftop in this situation.
Charles kisses him long and lingering because he's allowed to now and he's stared at his lips wanting this, even when they were fighting. On the plane after their fight his eyes traveled there without his permission as they played chess. It's embarrassing at this point how down he is.]
We don't need to have the relationship talk, do we? I think we know what we want.
[ Each other and not a damn thing else.]
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Let's just say it's a good thing that Charles is more reasonable. Erik would know the consequences and still not give a damn.
He leans back in, presses into that kiss, soft and lingering, thumb brushing over Charles's knuckles. In this moment, he can't possibly imagine ever tiring of this.
When he pulls away, meeting Charles's gaze, he very nearly chuckles at that question. No, they definitely don't need to have that talk (he doesn't feel that need, at least), but if Charles asks, then perhaps there is a part of him that needs it. So, he takes a slow breath, squeezes the hand in his, and keeps his gaze locked with Charles's when he speaks again, a touch softer now. ]
I love you, Charles. Despite my mistakes, my faults, my temper— you are... everything I could possibly need, here.
[ He could make it even worse, say that Charles completes him in ways that he wasn't even aware he was lacking, that he balances him, that he's shone a light in the deepest cracks in his heart. But maybe that's just sappy enough for right now. ]
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And this is another one. The two of them have the freedom to be together without all the reasons back home holding them back. Charles would have felt differently about trusting Erik if he hadn't so sincerely tried to prove he had changed, but he does believe him.
His eyebrows raise at the love confession and he isn't surprised, they know exactly how they feel about each other, it's just that for some reason, Charles never expected to hear it out loud. They've shared it in such a personal way, but he finds that his heart beats a little faster. He likes hearing it. He smiles and takes Erik's hand, bringing it to his lips.]
I remember the exact moment I fell in love with you.
[ Charles smiles and presses Erik's hand to his cheek.]
It was when you decided to stay and insisted we find the mutants alone. Together. I looked at you and I could see all that we might become.
[ That is why Charles gives Erik a lot of credit involving the beginning of the X-Men. It was a joint effort. Erik was a part of it, he helped more than he thought, and also focused Charles's mind. He wouldn't have thought to push the CIA out of his journey because he was eager to get started, but Erik was right about that.]
And then I spent a torturous amount of time on the road falling deeper in love with you with every day. Horrible.
[ Charles laughs and snuggles in closer, leaning their foreheads against each other, content to be in Erik's embrace. They knew they loved each other but the details he hasn't mentioned before. It was never only about lust with Erik, although he had plenty of that. He adored him, his most beloved. His gaze becomes more serious.]
Please, promise me you won't let the worst get the better of you, Erik. I can't survive another heartache like that.
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But he wants to say it. He wants to express it in as many ways as he can, and words are one of those ways. It's all the more worth it when he sees that glimmer in Charles's gaze, the smile that takes over his features. Erik doesn't have a hand resting over his heart but he is sure that he can feel the quicker beating of his heart, too. ]
You saw more than I ever did.
[ He was so blinded by grief, by rage, the desire to see his goals through. He can't even say the precise moment that he realised how he felt because he so often contained it so it wouldn't change his mind on his plans. He was going to kill Shaw, that was all it mattered until it wasn't, until Charles mattered, until a better future mattered, and all of it came crashing down at once.
Charles laughs but Erik still feels a bitter taste at the back of his throat. There's always going to be some regret for the time wasted, and the hurt caused, and how willing he was to just leave all of that behind. What a fucking fool he is.
His eyes close, and he nods gently, his forehead still pressed against Charles's. He cups his cheek, moving until he can weave his fingers through Charles's hair. ]
I promise you.
[ With every fiber of his being, he wants to believe that he can keep that promise. ]
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He feels a twist in him too, at the idea of losing what they gained, at a fear of abandonment coming across him again. He breathes through it. It was one of the things holding him back, and it won't here, but he knows that emotions are complicated. And that is why he just feels things and moves past them. Here in Erik's arms, he wants nothing to tie him away from it.]
I saw you, Erik. You were at your best with us. It's not gone.
[ Erik let his anger and pain get the better of him, which is understandable given the trauma he went through to get there. Perhaps if they had more time, and frankly, now that they've had this, Charles may have been right. This could have changed things ... or made it so much worse. Either way, Erik has the chance again. A life free from Shaw and with Charles in his bed. Charles has high hopes for him. For them.
He nuzzles Erik's nose with his own, breathing him in. This intimacy is unknown to him but it's what he longed for more than simply sex. It was never about sex with Erik ... although obviously he is very pleased to have it. He thinks of the pain that separated them and caresses Erik's cheek.]
Don't leave me again. If this place takes you like Raven, so be it, but not by choice. Come back to me. Every day be mine.
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Repercussions from that still linger, even as he feels Charles's trust in him repaired to some degree. He can still sense that worry in him, the fear of losing him again. Losing this. Maybe only time will make that fear go away. Erik knows he's doing what he can to mend that, so he can only hope that time is the answer. ]
I'm right here. [ He brushes his thumb over Charles's cheek, keeping their gazes locked. Not that Charles needs it to look into Erik's mind right now and see that he means that genuinely, but it makes him feel like they're closer. Like their souls touch. ] God, Charles, I have always been yours. I will come back to you always.
[ So long as it's within his power, but he would much rather not think of the alternative. Of being taken away from this place, or Charles to be the one disappearing. ]
I'm not leaving you. Please, believe me.
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All the hope in the world can't fully push away trauma and while Charles has come a long way, the loss of Erik and Raven and his legs wasn't a simple one to get past. He tries but some part of him will hold onto that pain and he wants to push forward. He is doing so by grasping onto this all of him. But just as he finds he didn't mind hearing Erik say he loves him out loud, it turns out hearing his reassurance also helps.
Charles's eyes water as he looks back at Erik and that love he feels is both beautiful and painful. Fear is no small part of him right now but he isn't letting it stop him. ]
I know we shouldn't look backward, but I'm just so angry at all the foolish mistakes we made. [ Not only Erik. Charles is including himself, he is far from perfect.] We wasted so much time. [ Little does he know that is a regret their future selves held too, at the end.]
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But they have one another, and facing all of this together will still be better than having to do it all on their own. Maybe back in their world, they would have to do so. Charles back at the mansion, Erik hiding under another identity. Who knows if they would have ever even seen each other again. But here they have each other to rely on, it already makes things infinitely better. ]
Don't think that way. [ Don't cry, please. That very nearly makes Erik's eyes fill with tears too, sucking in a breath. ] Just think of the time we have ahead. All of the things we can have now.
[ Erik has never been one to look back with that kind of regret. They can't go back and change how everything went down, but they can learn from it, make it all different. He doesn't like to think of it as time wasted, when to him every minute he gets to have with Charles will always feel like a precious gift. ]
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He just doesn't want to hurt anymore. He knows he's not the only one, that Erik has hurt too, but it did lay over his shoulders for years, making him less of the man he was. Charles has come a long way since coming here, but he's not recovered fully. And this may help with that, because it is giving something he thought he had to live without.
He smiles weakly at Erik and lets out a watery laugh.]
Look at you, being the optimist.
[ The one who apparently can see the time they have ahead and everything they can do together, rather than Charles who is dragging his heels in the past. In a way they've swapped positions, with Erik before having been so dragged down by Shaw and his past, and Charles always excited about what comes next.]
I love you, Erik.
[ He pulls Erik into a deep kiss the seal the way he feels and shares it between their bond, the brightness of his love mixed with the pain he feels, but can overcome. His arm slides around Erik's neck, fingers into his hair, as he kisses him like the first time.]
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His own smile is warmer, immensely fond, a soft hum escaping him. ]
Maybe you've rubbed off on me.
[ But it is good, the reversal. They work because they're similar in some things, and opposite in others, and it all balances out. So if Charles is struggling now, he can certainly be the voice of optimism, seeing a brighter path ahead for them both. Hold onto hope, rather than the past.
Much like Charles, he wouldn't need to hear those words said aloud, but his heard skips nonetheless at hearing them, gaze bright and warm, love spilling from every crease in his smile. He tips his head down to return the kiss with equal love and tenderness, his arm winding fully around Charles's waist to bring him up and closer to him. ]
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I certainly did, didn't I?
[ How can he resist making a dirty joke when they're (mostly) naked in bed together? It's also to signal that he's going to attempt to leave his melancholy behind. It's still there but Charles would rather keep kissing him at the moment, sliding into his mind once again to share his warmth and affection.
He lets Erik tug him close and since he's in his mind he decides that he doesn't like the feeling of fabric against Erik's bare body. He wants skin to skin and while he hesitated before because of his own insecurities, it's really a pointless endeavor. He's not going to bend on the carrying any time soon but Charles can make some concessions.]
Help me take off my pants, will you, love?
[ Unfortunately they have to stop kissing to do that but it'll be rewarding afterward. Charles still feels strange about it but he undoes them. He can't exactly help finagle them off him with a shimmy of his hips or anything given the situation so he'll let Erik handle it.]
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Incorrigible.
[ He sounds fond, even in his own mind, comfortable with Charles's presence in there again. He pulls from the kiss, for a moment surprised by the request, if only because he didn't quite expect Charles to change his mind on that tonight. Far be it from him to complain, however.
With a quick peck to his nose, Erik pulls away so he can kneel on the bed, next to Charles. Trying to do this while lying down was only going to make it awkward and that much more difficult, but like this he's able to get his hands on the waistband and properly tug them down Charles's legs, adjusting him as needed so they come out smoothly. The underwear is far easier to rid of, but he still gives Charles a glance, just to be sure that he is comfortable before he gets that off of him too.
He leans down to press a kiss to Charles's stomach, pushing both items of clothing to the foot of the bed. He takes a moment just to look at Charles before he moves on the bed again to lie down beside him, still searching his eyes. ]
Feeling alright?
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He lets out a breath he was holding when it's over and Erik's lips touch his stomach, letting his fingers tangle into his hair lightly when he does. Their minds are intertwined enough that Erik can probably note the variety of feelings coming from Charles right then are a complicated mix.
He turns toward Erik and pulls him close again so they're right up against each other. He can't feel it but through Erik he is pleased at the sensation of skin against skin, so it was worth it. It feels much more complete this way, so there is a touch of satisfaction felt from him after that. ]
My own hangups.
[ Charles admits without brushing it off. They both know that's the problem here. ]
This would be a very good time for you to say something flattering.
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Now I feel rather put on the spot.
[ Not that it seems a deterrent, the words said more with a touch of amusement than anything else. ]
You're absolutely perfect. [ He tips his head down to brush his lips over Charles's, his own bias clearly coloring those words, but he doesn't give a damn. ] The most beautiful creature I've ever laid my eyes on.
[ It's not that he's unaware or doesn't understand what Charles struggles with, with his disability. But to him, it truly doesn't matter. When he looks at Charles it's not the disability he sees, he just sees the gorgeous man he adores, and the beautiful body he's wanted to see bare and pressed against his own for so long. It doesn't matter if intimacy looks different to them. It doesn't feel incomplete, if anything it's all the more intense when he can feel Charles's own mind in his. Couldn't possibly get closer than that. ]
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He laughs and doesn't argue about how he obviously is far from perfect, because he's going to soak in the compliment regardless. Erik can't lie to him when in his head like this so he is very satisfied with what he hears. It goes both ways, he too thinks Erik is a perfect male specimen in terms of physical attractiveness. He's been obsessed with him since they met. He's told him how gorgeous he is.]
And you want me more than anyone in the world.
[ Charles prompts with a grin and he lays on his back, tugging Erik to try and persuade him to slide on top of him. He explains in his head he just wants to feel the weight on him, he's thought about it before. He wants to feel through Erik's mind all of them rubbing up against each other from top to bottom. He slides his hands up Erik's chest to hook them around his neck.]
And you've loved me all this time.
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The following statements get a soft laugh from him, and he lets Charles direct him to where he wants him, still adjusting a little before he's shifting to settle on top of Charles, hip to hip, elbows sinking to the mattress to at least keep his upper weight propped up. ]
At this point your ego's going to swell up enough that we won't get it past that door.
[ But he doesn't deny Charles that. Can't, when it makes him smile like that, when it makes him look this happy. He leans down for a soft kiss, lingering, lips still hovering close while he adds. ]
I do want you more than anyone. [ Another kiss. ] And I've loved you before I even realised it. [ His tongue darts out, tasting Charles's lips. ] And you feel so damn good against me right now.
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Good, that's how it should be when I leave your bed.
[ He should have his ego filled to the brim with the attention and adoration he's fed when they're like this. That's how Charles feels about it at least, he thinks he can't get enough of Erik's affection. He does look happy, a stark contrast to when he was making himself sad before, and he kisses Erik back, smiling the whole time.]
I do, don't I?
[ It turns out it was well worth getting past his ego on this issue. He tilts his head back, running his nails lightly up Erik's chest to tangle one hand in his hair lightly.]
Kiss my neck. I might not feel anything below my waist but I can feel everything above.
[ Charles has zero trouble with telling Erik exactly what he should be doing. He doesn't think Erik will argue with his bossiness. He wants to get showered in Erik's appreciation and his body is quite sensitive everywhere that can be felt. He hasn't gotten any attention for all this time, he could enjoy a little more of that.]
You are the sexiest person I've ever seen. My beautiful Erik.
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Charles won't need to ask him to touch him either, physical contact being something Erik likes rather a lot with him. More and more, he's finding, and he can certainly touch every bit of skin where Charles can feel it. He would even touch more, frankly, but that would be more for himself than anything, and he wants Charles to feel good above all else.
He shifts his weight just so, weight propped on just one elbow, freeing his other hand to brush through Charles's hair. He coaxes him to tip his head back, then dips down to latch his lips onto his neck, kissing as much as licking, a light, playful drag of teeth against skin. His hand continues on a path of its own, thumb tracing down Charles's throat, palm brushing over a pectoral, fingers hooked under his armpit before skimming as low as Charles can feel it, then back up, tracing over his stomach. ]
You taste so good, [ He murmurs against Charles's skin. Even off the road and not having had time to shower, Erik doesn't care. He could get hooked on the taste and feeling of Charles's skin against his tongue. ] I'll kiss you anywhere you want.
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Charles tips his head back as requested and shivers at the first touch on his skin, the sensation rippling through him. He hasn't been touched in so long. He could spend hours in someone's bed just soaking in their hands and lips in the past, and he's getting a taste for that again. The teeth on his skin gets a soft moan and he threads fingers in Erik's hair. He lets him do whatever he wants, basking in it.]
No I don't. [ Charles chuckles.] I didn't shower, I didn't think I'd be naked with you today.
[ He probably doesn't smell that badly; enough that it's clear he was on the road for awhile before giving up and coming back. Charles is fastidious otherwise, he likes to be clean and proper. His wipe off before coming here was likely better than anyone else would do, it's just not what he would want going into someone's bed. Alas, no turning it back now.]
Nipples, Erik. Gently at first, they're sensitive.
[ They are the part of him most obviously stimulated by their intimacy and sexual exploration. Charles would rather Erik get there on his own but maybe he's eager to feel those lips close in on them. He's in Erik's mind, sharing his thrill.]
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Shut up, [ He mutters fondly, chuckling against Charles's neck. ] I like what I like.
[ In all fairness he would find the scent of him intoxicating either way. It would take a lot for him to think otherwise, and Charles would never let himself get to such a point, really. There's just something different in the scent that comes from the sweat of his day out on the road, and it's definitely not a bad smell. Erik likes it, he'll not take further arguments.
Teeth brush over Charles's neck one last time, then he draws his lips away, shooting Charles a far too amused glance at the demanding tone in his voice. He wiggles a little further down on the bed, humming at the friction against Charles and the bed beneath them, pressing light kisses on the way down until he can reach Charles's nipples. His tongue drags carefully over one of them, wetting the flesh, immediately followed by him blowing a breath against it. ]
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[ Charles clocked that right away given how quickly Erik seems to give into every one of his demands with enthusiasm. It's why he doesn't mind being bossy because it seems to be something Erik enjoy, whether it's because it turns him on, or he likes Charles getting what he wants. Maybe all of the above. He knows that Erik does not like being ordered around by anyone else though, which does make it a little hot that it's Charles-specific. And not surprising, given their dynamic, and their past.
Charles likes it too, especially because it's Erik, and it has that ego boost. He keps brushing his fingers through Erik's hair in a comfortable almost pet, enjoying the lasting touch of the teeth on his skin. He can still feel Erik's lips lingering behind as he moves. Some people might lose sensation after a few moments, for Charles this is everything that he can feel, so it stays.
He licks his lips in anticipation and this is essentially as much going down on him as Erik can do, so it still gives him a thrill. Sensitive is saying the least. Charles moans and arches his back a little into it, mixing his pleasure into Erik's mind so he knows he likes it. ]
Just like that, love. [ He murmurs, one hand in his hair and the other on his shoulder.] I used to picture you on your knees.
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That depends on what you tell me to do. You are rather bossy, you know.
[ Said with a smirk, as he looks up to meet Charles's gaze. He finds it rather amusing, and undeniably arousing. Maybe that's part of why he's so quick to do as told.
Just giving Charles this kind of attention is already exciting, but the sounds Charles makes, the pleasure that he spills into Erik's mind, it serves to further fuel his arousal, and he lets out a low, heated hum of his own, not letting up. His hips shift, his position not really ideal for him to reach down and touch himself but he seeks the friction of the bed instead, idle relief while his attention is almost entirely on Charles. He drags his tongue over the same nipple again, then latches his lips there, still gentle but more pressing than the light touch from before. He breaks away so he can speak again, though his lips still ghost against sensitive skin, his thumb brushing idly over the so-far ignored nipple. ]
I do remember a conversation about me prostrating myself at your feet. Is that what you were imagining, then?
[ It definitely was what Erik was picturing. His mind sure went places during that little exchange. ]
he's a monster erik beware
oops too bad he's in too deep already
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thanks for the patience I'm back from vacay!
welcome back!! ✨
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we can probably finally wrap on this one and do a new event one :D
nooo-- i mean yes, that sounds good!!