heavymetals | ( abraxas ) inbox

[ It doesn't feel like it is okay. He has no idea what lies beyond that door, and yet he's terrified of it, like he knows it's something bad.

He looks to Wanda. Why should he trust her? He doesn't know her. It could very well be a trap, all of this. But why? What's the purpose of it all? What would anyone want from a man who has no idea who he is, or what his place on either reality is?

But the bottom line is, he has to open that door. He won't be able to walk away until he does. So he turns the knob and pushes it open, to reveal a child's room. Here, there are at least a few things. A bed, toys, drawings tacked to the walls. There's a little girl sitting on the ground, back turned to them, speaking in Polish to the little rabbit she's cradling in her lap. ]

Aniołku—

[ The little girl turns her head to look at him, but her features don't seem fixed. There's a constant blur like static, a smile that can't be really seen, and then she turns her attention back to the rabbit, continuing to do the exact same thing she was doing before, over and over again. ]

[this is the exact same sentiment any parent who has lost a child can understand.

wanda's hand leaves erik's back as he steps forward, inside the room. there's a little girl there, and his voice sounds like it might just break. wanda doesn't know if the girl's reaction is because of his own memories being locked away due to his visit in the horizon or a general sense of not wanting to touch the open wound.

hopefully erik will forgive her this one thing—but it's not like he'll remember.

using the energy of his memories cast within this room, that of his emotions, she builds upon the child. her face no longer a blue, her smile bright and precious, and her attention more realistic, less robotic. nina sets the rabbit down on the floor and stands up, turning back towards erik.]

Tata!

[a near seamless recreation, as the girl rushes in for a hug, and wanda observes from the doorframe of the room.]

[ It's pain that he doesn't understand, pain that he doesn't know where it comes from. Part of him wants to will that girl's face to come into focus, but he can't find the memories, no matter how hard he tries. It's all kept far away from reach.

He should leave, but he can't even think about it. He might as well be rooted to the spot, with how he doesn't seem able to move a muscle. So whatever Wanda's doing in the periphery, he doesn't even notice, let alone tell her not to.

Besides, how could he when she further draws out those memories, when the shadow of that little girl is fleshed out into something tangent and real? Erik still couldn't say how he knows her, all he knows is that she's important, and so incredibly far away.

When she rushes towards him, he reacts on instinct, arms opened, lowering himself to hold her in his arms. He falls to his knees, face buried in her hair, the quietest of sobs slipping past his lips. If he couldn't move before, now he feels like he can't ever leave. This is where he has to be. ]

[it's a sadness that she can understand, but it's not her own to partake in. wanda moves to stand just outside the room, breathing in deep and letting the sounds from within tell her what's going on. nina teases her dad in that childish way kids do, why are you crying, tata?, giggling softly and complaining a little about how his unshaven face tickles her.

wanda's magic unspools enough to allow this moment to stretch out a little longer, of nina introducing erik to her pet rabbit, to them sitting together, with her on his lap, and having a quiet but tender moment together.

when wanda thinks she herself cannot bear with the circumstances, she steps inside the room. the little girl smiles toothily at her, waving, and wanda smiles back.]

We have to go now, Erik.

[wanda offers her hand to him.]

[ Erik can't tell how long he's there, but it hardly seems to matter. Nothing really seems to matter outside of this room right now, and he's content to just sit there, holding the little girl tightly, his angel.

He's forgotten all about Wanda standing right outside, with how immersed he was in the moment. It nearly startles him when she comes back inside, glancing back when Nina waves at her. It's almost as painful when Wanda says they need to leave, and he wants to fight it, wants to ask why, wants to refuse.

But somewhere deep down, he knows he has to. Knows that this isn't real, it isn't something he can cling to forever, no matter how hard he wants to. It's all but a memory, one he can't even remember to begin with. But he will. If he goes, he can get this back. He just can't go back to it.

He holds Nina in a firm embrace, kisses her, and tells her to go back to playing with her rabbit. I'll be right back, sweetheart, he assures her, and she doesn't seem worried that he won't. That's good enough.

Wiping a hand over his eyes, he gets to his feet and turns to Wanda, taking her hand without further hesitation. ]

[wanda doesn’t linger in this space of the horizon as soon as erik takes hold of her hand. there’s a vulnerability here that he’s allowed her—inadvertently—to witness; one that she is far too familiar with, as any parent who has lost a child would relate.

they get dragged back into the waking world, like surfacing from the deep end of a pool, taking in a deep breath.

her hand is holding tightly onto erik’s now that they’re back here in this quiet corner of the farm, where the breeze continues to sway the trees around them, where the goats bleat and the chickens cluck, none the wiser to what was lived within the horizon. erik will remember his visit in the horizon—will remember the hold of a daughter that he no longer has.]

I’m sorry. [and so, wanda breaks the silence first, voice small.] My sons were ten when I lost them. It’s not comfort — but I… know.

I know.

[know what it’s like.

she brings her other hand to wrap around erik’s, looking at him with gentle eyes.]

What was her name?

[ It's a good thing Wanda breaks the silence, because Erik certainly wasn't about to. Coming back isn't physically taxing, but there's a flood of memories that comes along with it, overwhelming him all the more when it comes with what he's just experienced in the Horizon.

His breath catches in his throat, and he holds it in, too afraid that trying to exhale would come with another sob. But tears well in his eyes regardless, and when he shuts them tightly, they run down his cheeks. It's quiet, and he doesn't say anything, listening to her. Wishing that this wasn't yet another horrible experience that they share with each other.

He can't bring himself to let go of her hand just yet, like it's a link to that memory, to the Horizon. The precious, incomparable and unrepeatable chance that he got to be with her again. But she doesn't seem to mind, even adding more to the contact, so he doesn't pull away yet. ]

Nina.

[ Somehow, saying the name is as painful as everything else. He's suddenly aware he hadn't said it out loud once, since he lost her. ]

I'm... sorry, too. About your sons. [ His fingers tighten briefly over hers. ] No parent should live to see their children die.

[wanda shakes her head. it's never a pleasant thing to think about, much less to talk about—especially with a relative stranger. wanda only ever feels comfortable talking about her sons with matt, but even that was for the comfort that his company would bring to her. she keeps her gaze lowered.

nina is a good name, but wanda can also feel his pain all too close to the surface.]

We need to stop having these kind of experiences in common.

[—something a bit lighter, for them to anchor themselves to.]

Are you feeling alright? It's common to feel lightheaded after the first visit.

[he can have some time to compose himself, if that's what he needs, too.]

[ Erik hasn't really talked about it with anyone, but it seems unfair to not at least answer a simple question, after she witnessed what she did. And after what she did to flesh out that memory too. At least, he is pretty sure she did something; he didn't have the memories or the focus necessary to manage more than a shadow of his daughter.

He lets out a weak chuckle, smiling through the pain. Wiping the tears from his cheeks, again, he shakes his head. ]

I'm alright. [ Well, he isn't. But who would be? ] I think I just— need a moment, that's all.

[wanda nods, understanding.

she motions towards the field that opens up before them, hoping that he takes the invite to get up on his feet and walk about a bit. should he do so, wanda will stay behind, seated, giving him a bit of space. it’s only after a few minutes pass that she’ll get up, walking up towards him again.

it is rough, but wanda can’t imagine herself not being honest about the circumstances around the horizon.]

You’ll be able to go back to the Horizon any time now, [she says, stopping beside him, leaning forward a bit to push her hands into the face of an approaching, friendly goat wanting pats.] but your body will be left defenseless in the waking world. I tend to make my trips there at night, when I can just say I’m asleep.

The Horizon itself is a little crowded now, but you can find a space to create whatever you’d want to be considered as ‘yours’ within it. [she glances up at him, as the goat walks away] There’s about three New York neighborhoods in there, if you’ll believe it. You can visit anyone’s space at any time.

[ He takes the invite, if nothing else then because it gives him something to do. Walking helps, the fresh breeze on his face drying his tears quickly, the simple action of walking already easing the thick haze in his head. She was right, he does feel lightheaded. He hadn't even realized.

He looks down as Wanda approaches, silently watching her pet the goat, and listening to her explanation too. Having full control is a definite improvement. However, the rest makes him frown. ]

And anyone could visit mine.

[ So the cottage has to go. Even if he ends up with nothing in its place, he's never going to be alright with strangers just randomly walking around in there. ]

[straightening, wanda tilts her head at his rather correct conclusion. it's a neighborhood, in a way, between the summoned, with no locked doors. it is inevitable that someone would step foot into someone else's domain—eat their porridge, use their chairs, sleep on their beds, so to speak.]

It doesn't have to be so easy to reach. [a suggestion, then. they should all be allowed their comforts, their privacy.] Mine is only reachable through an unfriendly forest. It's likelier to get turned around than find the place I have.

[she pulls at her shawl, then, tucking her arms within.]

Design it however you want, but don't remove comforts just because of others. A strong enough will can make a door in the Horizon impossible to open.

[ He ponders on her suggestion for a moment, while giving himself a little longer to process what he's just experienced. The pain is still there, but it subsides, dwindles back into the dull, constant ache he's been carrying all along. Easier to push down, to contain within the limits of his own personal comfort. ]

Maybe so. I'm just not sure that I want to be there, either.

[ Because it wouldn't be a comfort, would it? It would just be torture. As long as he could go back there and be with his little girl, why would heve ever want to leave? ]

This was... incredibly helpful of you, Wanda. Thank you. [ He means that, genuinely so. With a smile, he adds. ] I think I just need some time to process all of this.

[wanda returns his smile with one of her own, one that's certainly dulled by the knowledge that there was a rooted pain that was exposed just now. it's certainly no comfort, but there is comfort in not being alone.

only in time can such thing be understood.]

Here to help, as they'd say.

[she shrugs lightly.]

You do with it whatever you want, no matter what others say. At least now you'll be privy to communicating through the connection we have with the Singularity. [the brain texts, that is.] You can shut it off if it's too annoying.

[and, abruptly, like she's been negotiating with herself asking this at all,]

—can I treat you to lunch, by the way?

[ Erik isn't sure yet how he feels about her witnessing all of this. She has welcomed him to this place, helped him more than anyone else has, but they're still new acquaintances. At most, at the early beginnings of a friendship. He has shared a lot about himself with her, even felt comfortable enough doing so willingly, but this is... different. It's so much more than what he feels ready to share with anyone.

But it was his decision to do this, fully knowing what might happen. He will accept the consequences of it. At least, he feels comforted by the knowledge that she's not going to talk about this with anyone else. ]

Duly noted.

[ He'll have to test this connection with other Summoned he has, now. Useful, undoubtedly. But he's done more than enough for now that he just needs a break from everything new about this place.

He takes a moment to think on her offer, more surprised by the offer than anything. ]

You can. If you're not tired of putting up with me yet.

[at that, wanda shrugs again, more obvious now as she brings up her arms in an exaggerated gesture.]

If it makes you feel better, I have nothing better to do.

[deflecting a sense of familiarity and enjoyment with a general sense of being made to do something because of the lack of anything else being on her plate.]

I thought you might like to know where the treehouse is, anyway. It's where I stay with Himeka and Nero. We make do with some more modern appliances there where none of the locals will freak out about them.

[—like a tv, thanks to her magic, and a music system, thanks to rocket—]

We like to keep the place as an open invitation for all the Summoned should anyone need a break from the farm life.

Ah. See, now that explains it.

[ He'll gladly take the attempt at lightening the mood. It's been heavy enough as it is. ]

I didn't know about all that. [ At this point he's probably hear about it in passing, most likely from Wanda, but not the rest of the details. Erik's not particularly attached to more modern technology, but he'll have to admit, it is pretty useful to have that option.But mostly, he's just curious about the place. ]

Alright, then. Lead the way.

It’s a pretty cool place to be.

[if she says so herself! she also says that with a bland tone. so much for being enthusiastic about it at all. getting there, however, depends a lot on the cart being pulled by the massive goats. it’s not all too reliable, if one is looking to go at a specific time but finds themselves waiting ages for lasse to come around.

wanda looks him over.]

Do you want the long, boring route, or can you—like others here—fly or teleport?

[important questions one would need the answers to.]

[ Ah yes, cool. The hip, young thing to say. Erik just smiles faintly at that, feeling distanced enough from his experience in the Horizon now to allow himself some amusement. ]

I can fly.

[ He's just full of exciting surprises like that. Granted, it's not necessarily flying but it's close enough. ]

Can you?

You think I would ask if I couldn't?

[she can do both, actually, but flying is more of a shared experience than teleporting is, and it's what would help give erik a sense of direction as to where the treehouse is.

taking a step back, hands at her back, she looks erik over for a moment.]

It's mostly levitating by means of my magic. I imagine yours has to do with the metals on the earth, or something like that?

[she's just a curious individual.]

I don't know. You could be asking for a lift.

[ Pun intended, the twitch of his lips makes that much clear. But no, he didn't think she would ask otherwise.

He tilts his head at her assumption, but nods once. ]

In a way. I can create magnetic fields and glide through them— effectively turning myself into a living magnet, if you'd like. Alternately, I can use whatever metal is on me to lift myself up in the air.

[ The latter tends to be a little more difficult to control though, and now that he has full mastery of his abilities, he vastly prefers the former. ]

[wanda hears the pun and she rolls her eyes, waving her hand over at him as she crouches down to pick at a yellow flower growing amidst the grass. she listens to erik's explanation, and she supposes that makes sense.]

I liked playing with magnets when I was a kid.

[the ones on the fridge in her family home, anyway. that is to say, it makes sense to her.

standing up again, she nods at erik—]

Follow me.

[—and tucks the flower into a pocket of her coat before taking a few steps forward and lifting off from the ground. it'll be a quick journey to the treehouse, if they can fly, and wanda only turns back once to make sure that erik follows.

not a few minutes later, and they're landing on the premises of said treehouse, just by the black eye lakes. wanda's landing is a little rough, but she manages to keep on her feet, a hand quickly making its way to her nose to check for any nosebleeds. luckily, no such thing.

with a sigh of relief, she turns back to him.]

The treehouse.

[ He smiles, gently amused. Actually, it's not a bad comparison, the way magnets can repel each other. But that's a science lesson for another time.

He's following her lead without needing any prompting, lifting himself off the ground easily and gliding across the air right behind her. His landing is much smoother, as seamless as the rest of the flight, and he does notice her checking her own nose, but says nothing to it.

Instead, he looks around, taking in the place. ]

Impressive. Did you build it from scratch? With magic?

It was actually a group effort between the locals and some of the Summoned. We just found a nice tree to build around.

[the commune had insisted in wanting to help them, and wanda—despite being able to put it all together with her magic—would not deny them of that joy. she pulls at the flower from her pocket and moves down the path towards the garden and, thus, one of the ground floor windows.

she stitches the flower together with the already growing vines with her magic.]

It's been a few months since, so it's not that bare anymore.

[with that, she moves on over to the door, pushes it open a bit.]

Come and see. We've got working pipes and a mirror to play TV shows on. That one is all magic.

Edited 2023-11-03 16:09 (UTC)

[ And yet, it doesn't seem to be used by the locals. They really are fond of the Summoned here, something he's still getting accustomed to. He'd probably be suspicious of anyone being this nice to him. Old habits.

He listens quietly, and watches the place, the details, how warm and cozy it is. It's wonderful. One of the locals has welcomed him into their home, but Erik is rarely ever there, the room lent to him bare of anything other than basic necessities, and it comes nowhere near this place.

Not that it seemed to matter, at the time. He didn't even think he would be staying here long. ]

I don't really watch television, [ He admits. He kind of prefers to avoid news sources, as he tends to appear in a number of them, sometimes more often than others. He suspects he's made more appearances as of late. ] But it must be an impressive feat of magic. Your doing?

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